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In some countries the quality of life in large cities is declining Why do you think this is happening What measures can be taken to stop it v.1

In some countries the quality of life in large cities is declining Why do you think this is happening What measures can be taken to stop it v. 1
It is argued that foreigners like to visit museums and heritage places instead of the native people. The main reason is extremely high admission fees to the historical sites. To solve this problem state should provide subsidizes and abolish the fee. To begin with, the main reason tourists visit a country is to learn about the culture of the host country and museums and historical monuments are the best places for that purpose. Even though the entry fee of these places is huge tourists are often willing to pay to fulfil their curiosity. On the other hand, local inhabitants visit these historical sites less often. After visiting once they avoid going to museums because the admission fee is prohibiting high. They do not want to pay such a huge amount just to see the same artefacts and monuments again. For example, a survey conducted by a Business newspaper article stated that the number of local visitors to the British museum significantly declined after they introduced entrance fee. The possible solution to attract locals to visit museums more often is that admission should be free of charge and it’s only possible if the government provide funds to help museums manage their expenses. With the assistance from state museums and historical places would not have to burden public by placing admission charges. For instance, according to a report by University of London there was a 40% increase in attendance to the British Art museum after entrance fee was removed. In conclusion, the principal cause for local residents do not visit museums and heritage places in their own nation is because of the high entry fee, however, the government can lure them by scrapping admission charges.
It
is argued
that foreigners like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
instead
of the native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The main reason is
extremely
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
sites. To solve this problem state should provide subsidizes and abolish the fee.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a country is to learn about the culture of the host country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
monuments are the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for that purpose.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
the entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is huge tourists are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
willing to pay to fulfil their curiosity.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
sites less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. After visiting once they avoid going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is prohibiting high. They do not want to pay such a huge amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and monuments again.
For example
, a survey conducted by a Business newspaper article stated that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors to the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
significantly
declined after they introduced entrance fee.

The possible solution to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
should be free of charge and it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provide funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
manage their expenses. With the assistance from state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
burden public by placing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
charges.
For instance
, according to a report by University of London there was a 40% increase in attendance to the British Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
after entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
was removed
.

In conclusion
, the principal cause for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
,
however
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can lure them by scrapping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
charges.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries the quality of life in large cities is declining Why do you think this is happening What measures can be taken to stop it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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