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In some countries, the quality of life in larger cities is declining. Why do you think this is happening? What measures can be taken to stop it. v.2

In some countries, the quality of life in larger cities is declining. Why do you think this is happening? What measures can be taken to stop it. v. 2
In Some continents the status of living capability in metropolitan cities are reducing at an alarming rate. I believe overpopulation is the main reason for this to happen. We will discuss the cause and solution for this problem in this essay. To begin with, the qualities of life in the metropolitan cities are reducing at an alarming rate due to several factors. Overpopulation is main cause of discomfort in larger cities. Too many people living in a particular area creates pollution related to air, noise, congestion and smoke from vehicles. Additionally, the exploitation of resources on a particular area will lead to rise in the price of the commodities, which in turn the burden of the cost will fall on every single one of them living in that area. Moreover, the congestion and traffic jam in a big city is increasing everyday due to poor planning of roads and due to overpopulation more number of trees is being cut for construction of newer buildings to accommodate the rising number of population. On the other hand, the quality of life can be improved in the larger cities if the government has proper plans to construct a new city and individual’s responsibility to maintain decorum and follow the rules and regulation properly. I believe the government should relocate some IT and Industrial sectors to a new area to reduce the population in the already crowded area and construct the new sectors in the properly planned areas for the future purpose. Moreover, Government and Individuals should plant more trees for the overcrowded cities to survive and to reduce the air pollution, which is main reason for the recent health related problems. In conclusion, the government should regulate the usage of vehicles in the larger cities and construct new bridges, plant more trees and plan the city to survive efficiently to increase the quality of living. Additionally, the citizens should not over consume the resources and follow the rules and laws made by the government for the city to survive in a comfort manner.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
continents the status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
capability in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are reducing at an alarming rate. I believe overpopulation is the main reason for this to happen. We will discuss the cause and solution for this problem in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the qualities of life in the metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are reducing at an alarming rate due to several factors. Overpopulation is main cause of discomfort in larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
creates pollution related to air, noise, congestion and smoke from vehicles.
Additionally
, the exploitation of resources on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
will lead to rise in the price of the commodities, which in turn the burden of the cost will fall on every single one of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Moreover
, the congestion and traffic jam in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city is increasing everyday due to poor planning of roads and due to overpopulation more number of trees is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
for construction of newer buildings to accommodate the rising number of population.

On the other hand
, the quality of life can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in the larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has proper plans to construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
city and individual’s responsibility to maintain decorum and follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation
properly
. I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should relocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
IT and Industrial sectors to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the population in the already crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and construct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sectors in the
properly
planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for the future purpose.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and Individuals should plant more trees for the overcrowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to survive and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the air pollution, which is main reason for the recent health related problems.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should regulate the usage of vehicles in the larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and construct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
bridges, plant more trees and plan the city to survive
efficiently
to increase the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
Additionally
, the citizens should not over consume the resources and follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and laws made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for the city to survive in a comfort manner.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay In some countries, the quality of life in larger cities is declining. Why do you think this is happening? What measures can be taken to stop it. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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