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Globalization has many positive effects on world's economy but the negative effects cannot be forgotten. What is your point of view about this topic? v.2

Globalization has many positive effects on world's economy but the negative effects cannot be forgotten. What is your point of view about this topic? v. 2
Myriad of affirmative impacts could be seen on the economy of globe due to globalization; however, some school of thoughts deem that deleterious implications cannot be neglected. While local economy affects due to this development, I believe that perquisites in terms of availability of jobs at cheaper rate cannot be avoided. On the one hand, world has become a global village due to globalization. Owing to this, smaller businesses have to face plight to sell their products in local market because different items are available in the market at lower rate which are imported from other countries. Consequently, less preference is given to the local sellers which is perilous for the local economy. For example, in India, bearing manufacturing industries are in jeopardy because China is supplying the same product at cheaper rate. However, I believe that there are more benefits than drawbacks of globalization. On the other hand, a huge number of employment is provided to developing countries because of globalization. That is to say that many multi-national companies are establishing their manufacturing units in developing nations due to which unemployed people could easily fond a suitable job. Moreover, it will not only advantageous to the people of guest countries, but organizations are also benefited by recruiting employees at lower wages as compared to their native nations. To exemplify, Apple has built a manufacturing plant in India and gives job opportunities to thousands of people. In addition to that, Indians are working at lower annual package than Americans. Therefore, I believe that globalization has more positive implications on the world' s economy. In conclusion, it can be reiterated that though, local shop-keepers and businesses are facing difficulty to sell their products, I believe that better job opportunities as well as workers at cheaper rate are more productive. Furthermore, it is recommended that rules and regulations should be made by states to conserve the local businesses.
Myriad of affirmative impacts could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the economy of globe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to globalization;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school of thoughts deem that deleterious implications cannot
be neglected
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this development, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that perquisites in terms of availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
cannot
be avoided
.

On the one hand, world has become a global village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to globalization. Owing to this, smaller businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face plight to sell their products in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
items are available in the market at lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
which
are imported
from other countries.
Consequently
, less preference is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
sellers which is perilous for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy.
For example
, in India, bearing manufacturing industries are in jeopardy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
China is supplying the same product at cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there are more benefits than drawbacks of globalization.

On the other hand
, a huge number of employment
is provided
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of globalization.
That is
to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
multi-national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are establishing their manufacturing units in developing nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
easily
fond a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Moreover
, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
advantageous to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of guest countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
organizations are
also
benefited by recruiting employees at lower wages as compared to their native nations. To exemplify, Apple has built a manufacturing plant in India and gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities to thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
to that, Indians are working at lower annual package than Americans.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that globalization has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
world&
#039; s economy.

In conclusion
, it can
be reiterated
that though,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shop-keepers and businesses are facing difficulty to sell their products, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities
as well
as workers at cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
are more productive.
Furthermore
, it
is recommended
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations should
be made
by states to conserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Globalization has many positive effects on world's economy but the negative effects cannot be forgotten. What is your point of view about this topic? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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