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young people enjoy more than the older. Therefore, I agree with this statement that young people enjoy life more than older people do v.2

young people enjoy more than the older. Therefore, I agree with this statement that young people enjoy life more than older people do v. 2
I do not have doubt that many olders people enjoy much the life, however I also do not have doubt that young people enjoy more than the older. Therefore, I agree with this statement that young people enjoy life more than older people do. Thus, I have two reasons to support my opinions. First, young people usually have more energy to do the things if compared with olders people. The corage, is a thing that the teenager have a lot, and this is a tool that increase the wish of then enjoy the life. For example, I and my friends were talking with our parents and we were comparing our life’s. We started talking about the courage of the people have to do the radical sports, and all of us that were young have courage to do, and only on mother said that had corage. They told us when they were more youngest they had corage, however today is not. Thus whith this meet I could percived that is of nature of young people. Second, the tecnology have encouraged the young people do things that make than enjoy the life. Since that have many places that are paradisiac and beatiful that can be observed in the Internet for the mobile, tablet and computer. This make young people try to travel to these places. For instance, the number of backpacker have increase in the world, in these people are young people. I read in a news peaper that young people have enjoyed the life travelling, and how many people don' t have enough money to travel they created a lot websites to help each other. In the interview that i read in a section in a newspaper, it was saying that there are some websites that you work in a place like a hostel and you can live to enjoy the place. The website have work to backpackers oround the world. In conclusion, I agree with this statement and I think that young people have enjoyed the life more than older, and that the tecnology have help the young tpeople to enjoy it.
I do not have doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
olders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
much the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
however
I
also
do not have doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do.
Thus
, I have two reasons to support my opinions.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
have more energy to do the things if compared
Possible spelling mistake found.
with olders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
corage
, is a thing that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
have a lot, and this is a tool that increase the wish of then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, I and my friends were talking with our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
we were comparing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life’s
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
talking about the courage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do the radical sports, and all of us that were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
have courage to do, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on mother said that had
Possible spelling mistake found.
corage
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us when they were
Use only "youngest" (without 'more') when you use the superlative.
more youngest
they had
Possible spelling mistake found.
corage
,
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is not.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
Possible spelling mistake found.
whith
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
I could
Possible spelling mistake found.
percived
that is
of nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Second, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tecnology
have encouraged the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Since that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that are
Possible spelling mistake found.
paradisiac
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
beatiful
that can
be observed
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
for the mobile, tablet and computer. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to travel to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For instance
, the number of backpacker have increase in the world, in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I read in a news
Possible spelling mistake found.
peaper
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have enjoyed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
travelling, and how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to travel they created
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of websites"?
a lot websites
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other. In the interview that
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
read in a section in a newspaper, it was saying that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites that you work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
like a hostel and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. The website have work to backpackers
Possible spelling mistake found.
oround
the world.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have enjoyed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
, and that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tecnology
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
tpeople
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
it.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay young people enjoy more than the older. Therefore, I agree with this statement that young people enjoy life more than older people do v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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