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It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries Do you think it is a positive or a negative development Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience v.1

It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries Do you think it is a positive or a negative development Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience v. 1
Opinions are divided on whether only managers should be involved in the organization's decision making or whether the contribution of employees is also important. I believe that the opinion of employees plays an important role in the company's decision-making process. The idea of taking decisions by the supervisors of a company is advocated by people on the grounds of confidentiality and experience. At times, there has been some information which a company cannot share with all of its staff because it may contain confidential information like an organization's future roadmap and many more. Moreover, sharing such confidential information with each member of the company may reveal its secrets to its competitors. On the other hand, managers are fairly experienced as far as the market condition and the latest technologies are concerned. Furthermore, they can better guide the associates about the technology and the skills which are beneficial for them and the company as well. However, the above arguments can be rejected because having a transparent relationship with employees can help to build a strong bonding between employee and employer. By doing so, the employees will feel that their opinions are being valued and they find themselves as a part of a team which in turn helps in building a better workplace to work for. Moreover, an employee knows better than his manager about the improving areas and the training required to overcome those gaps. For example, if a manager nominates his employee for training on the financial matter and the employee finds that training as a waste of time, then it is a loss for both employee and employer. Furthermore, it is better to ask an employee about their interest as far as training is concerned. To conclude, if the employees were given equal opportunity to share their opinions, they feel safe in the workplace, which in turn helps in building a strong employee and employer relationship.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Opinions
are divided
on whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
should
be involved
in the organization's
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
or whether the contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's decision-making process.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of taking decisions by the supervisors of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is advocated
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on the grounds of confidentiality and experience. At times, there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
cannot share with all of its staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may contain confidential information like an organization's future roadmap and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Moreover
, sharing such confidential information with each member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may reveal its secrets to its competitors.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
are
fairly
experienced as far as the market condition and the latest technologies
are concerned
.
Furthermore
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
guide the associates about the technology and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are beneficial for them and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as well
.

However
, the above arguments can
be rejected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having a transparent relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build a strong bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
and employer. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
will feel that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are being
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
valued and
they find themselves as a part of a team which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
workplace to work for.
Moreover
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
knows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
about the improving areas and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
required to overcome those gaps.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
nominates his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
on the financial matter and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
finds that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
as a waste of time, then it is a loss for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
and employer.
Furthermore
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to ask an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
about their interest as far as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is concerned
.

To conclude
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal opportunity to share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
, they feel safe in the workplace, which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in building a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
and employer relationship.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries Do you think it is a positive or a negative development Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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