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In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries is declining. What are the reasons for this? How can we solve this problem? v.3

In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries is declining. What are the reasons for this? How can we solve this problem? v. 3
People have remained interested in arts for centuries. While art was encouraged in early times by paying visits to art galleries, the people have lost the curiosity the visit them now. This essay will discuss the causes behind it and propose some solutions to encourage people to visit the art galleries. People, especially youth, have lost the interest in the art and there are multiple reasons for it. Firstly, this era of technology has brought art onto the screens for the people. Why would they leave their comfort-zone and see the art in theatres if they can experience it on their cell phones. Secondly, there is a declining number of artists because they cannot generate a good income out of it these days. For instance, there were people who used to pay millions for a great artwork, but due to loss in interest, an artwork is now seldom bought by someone. Though people are losing their interest in art, there are multiple solutions that can revive the importance of art and art galleries in the minds of the people. The First solution is to rehabilitate the old art galleries and set up state of the art technologies inside them. This would elevate the interest in the youngsters and the children as they cannot just visit the galleries, but they can also interact with the artworks. Another option is to spread the awareness of artworks and art galleries through advertisements on social media. This way, people will pay attention to the art and visit them in the art galleries, ultimately creating a revenue stream for the artists and art galleries, which in turn will also encourage the artists. This essay discussed the causes for the declining number of people visiting art galleries. The implementation of the solutions discussed in this essay is not difficult and can greatly increase the lost interest in the artwork among the young generation.
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People
have remained interested in
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arts
for centuries. While
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art
was encouraged
in early times by paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lost the curiosity the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. This essay will discuss the causes behind it and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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solutions
to encourage
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people
to
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visit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
,
especially
youth, have lost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and there are multiple reasons for it.
Firstly
, this era of technology has brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
onto the screens for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Why would they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their comfort-zone and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
if they can experience it on their cell phones.
Secondly
, there is a declining number of artists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot generate a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
income out of it these days.
For instance
, there were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to pay millions for a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to loss in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
seldom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by someone.

Though
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people
are losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, there are multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
that can revive the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
in the minds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
First
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is to rehabilitate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
and set up state of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
technologies inside them. This would elevate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the youngsters and the children as they cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
also
interact with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
. Another option is to spread the awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artworks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
through advertisements on social media. This way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
,
ultimately
creating a revenue stream for the artists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
, which in turn will
also
encourage the artists.

This essay discussed the causes for the declining number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
. The implementation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
discussed in this essay is not difficult and can
greatly
increase the lost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
among the young generation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries is declining. What are the reasons for this? How can we solve this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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