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Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

These days there are a number of people suggest that we could solve the traffic and housing issues by transfer large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. So, some people that good and could solve these probblems. While others that is worst solve they ever seen. I will discuss both sides in this essay and will draw my personal conclusion. In one hand, some say that we could solve that by moving these factories and its companies to the countryside. So in the city we could live without a huge traffic everyday morning. For example, the rush hour in every city is nightmare for every driver. So, thats we some think that we should moving these companies and factories. On the other hand, we have people say that we actually, by doing this, we make the problems bigger by spend a lot of money on making new streets and other facelities. To illustrate, if move the factories to the country side we actually build a base for new city and by doing this we built a new city and did not solve the problem. In addtion, the enviroment issues that we should make space for the companies and factories and then we must remove gardens, trees and farms. For an instace, the side effect on that will be terrible such a rise in rates of global warming and destroy the natural enviroment for many animal and birds. And on the top of that farmers will lost their jobs. In conclusion after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that we could not move these companies and factories to the country side for many reasons and I see that the first suggestion is unrealistic and have a unignoreable amount of ignorat.
These days there are a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that we could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the traffic and housing issues by transfer large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and their employees to the countryside.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
these
Possible spelling mistake found.
probblems
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others
that is
worst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
they ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. I will discuss both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
in this essay and will draw my personal conclusion.

In one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that we could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
that by moving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to the countryside.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in the city we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without a huge traffic everyday morning.
For example
, the rush hour in every city is nightmare for every driver.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should moving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and factories.

On the other hand
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that we actually, by doing this, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the problems bigger by spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on making new streets and other
Possible spelling mistake found.
facelities
. To illustrate, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
to the
This word is normally spelled as one.
country side
we actually build a base for new city and by doing this we built a new city and did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the problem.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
addtion
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
issues that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
space for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
factories and
then we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remove gardens, trees and farms. For an
Possible spelling mistake found.
instace
, the side effect on that will be terrible such a rise in rates of global warming and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the natural
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
animal and birds. And on the top of that farmers will
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
lost
their jobs.

In conclusion
after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that we could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
to the
This word is normally spelled as one.
country side
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
first
suggestion is unrealistic and have
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
unignoreable
amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ignorat
.
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We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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