Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. v.18

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. v. 18
Healthiness plays a vital role in human lives. It is true that people's average weight is growing in many nations due to several factors that degrade their strength. There are various reasons why individual's average weight is being increased, but they could certainly take steps to address this issue. Firstly, the variety of food is different in each country that could increase people's weight, and the fitness standard reduces drastically. For instance, many western countries people used to have foods in such as pizza and burger which leads to obesity and surge in their weight that causes their health level. Moreover, people used to skip their breakfast to keep them fit because of which their weight gets increased after some point of time. The food with proper quality, less cholesterol would control their weight and keep them fit that lead to healthy life in near future. In addition, people should have their meals in proper timing to avoid any health related issues. Secondly, the lack of exercise is one of the reasons for human's weight control. Most of the people are lazy to do any daily exercises that affect their health directly. For example, people intend to use bus or train to travel for even small distance and also people are using lifts instead of steps for small distance walk in their work premises as well. As a result, human average weight is increasing drastically now a day in many countries. As a corrective measure, people should walk daily at least a couple of kilometres where it is possible and also do basic exercise to keep them fit and that would improve the health standard. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to average weight increase to peoples in many nations to maintain their health standard at a high level.
Healthiness plays a vital role in human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
is growing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations due to several factors that degrade their strength. There are various reasons why individual's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
is
being increased
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they could
certainly
take steps to address this issue.

Firstly
, the variety of food is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in each country that could increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
, and the fitness standard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
drastically
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
western countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have foods in such as pizza and burger which leads to obesity and surge in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
that causes their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
level.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to skip their breakfast to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
increased after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point of time. The food with proper quality, less cholesterol would control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fit that lead to healthy life in near future.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have their meals in proper timing to avoid any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related issues.

Secondly
, the lack of exercise is one of the reasons for human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
control. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lazy to do any daily exercises that affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
directly
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
bus or train
Did you mean "traveling", "travelling"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to travel
for even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
distance and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using lifts
instead
of steps for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
distance walk in their work premises
as well
.
As a result
, human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
is increasing
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. As a corrective measure,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should walk daily at least a couple of
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
where it is possible and
also
do basic exercise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fit and that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
standard.

In conclusion
, various measures can
be taken
to tackle the problems that are certain to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
increase to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
standard at a high level.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts