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In some countries secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects In others children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career For today s world which system is appropriate v.2

In some countries secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects In others children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career For today s world which system is appropriate v. 2
Some secondary schools provide a specific subject to prepare students' career, and that continues to be a hotly debated in some respects. I Believe that applying a wide range of interdisciplinary is more beneficial, which I will explain below. Firstly, various subjects allow students to have a better future career. In the class where students can determine the most-liked subject, they interested in. It might be said that students have helped by the school for creating their career. After all, they will study the essential skills and knowledge from the school that can accommodate them for pursuing their desired job. For Example, the students who want to be a doctor, of course, need to master Biology, Mathematics, Physics, and Chemist subjects. I believe that more doctors are succeeding now, after taking a class in different lessons. Moreover, a variety of subject is needed to socialize with the environment. This is because, it is required specific skills such as problem-solving, analyzing and discussion. When students find the difficulties, they will be easier to resolve it. While it may be correct that particular subject can give a big opportunity to reach a peak of a career quickly, it still appears to be the case, however, that broad range of subject is necessary, not only to create better future but also to help students for solving a problem in society. Overall, I feel that a wide range of the interdisciplinary program is more appropriate in the schools. By the reason, this can assist students to develop particular skills.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to prepare
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, and that continues to be a
hotly
debated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
respects. I Believe that applying a wide range of interdisciplinary is more beneficial, which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
below.

Firstly
, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a better future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can determine the most-liked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, they interested in. It might
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for creating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
After all
, they will study the essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that can accommodate them for pursuing their desired job.
For Example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who want to be a doctor,
of course
, need to master Biology, Mathematics, Physics, and Chemist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. I believe that more doctors are succeeding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, after taking a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lessons.
Moreover
, a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is needed
to socialize with the environment. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it
is required
specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as problem-solving, analyzing and discussion. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find the difficulties, they will be easier to resolve it.

While it may be correct that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
can give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
opportunity to reach a peak of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
quickly
, it
still
appears to be the case,
however
, that broad range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is necessary, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to create better future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for solving a problem in society.

Overall
, I feel that a wide range of the interdisciplinary program is more appropriate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. By the reason, this can assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to develop particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects In others children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career For today s world which system is appropriate v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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