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The internet has transformed lives and economies but it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.5

The internet has transformed lives and economies but it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. with this opinion? v. 5
There is no doubt that the internet changed lives significantly. However, it can be argued whether these changes are good or not. Maybe the Internet affects our individuality and in the nearest future everybody will behave alike. It is well-know that new technologies eased our everyday life. Firstly, with the help of the Internet it is possible to keep in touch with relatives and friends, who live far away. Secondly, financiers now may receive information and news connected with economics much more faster that in the past. It helps them to accomplish more financial operations at a time. Finally, the whole process of getting access to the information became easier. Now students do not need to go to libraries and spend their precious time - almost every book can be found on the Internet. What is more, after a long working day people can read all the news and fresh articles using their smartphones or laptops. There is no need to buy newspapers, magazines, books. On the other hand, some people are concerned about people behaving in the same way due to the Internet' s influence. For example, nowadays there is a trend of blogging on Youtube. Thousands of people film themselves and post videos about their lives on the website. They tell about their journeys, universities, relationships with friends and relatives, give cooking and art master-classes. More and more internet users join the community of video bloggers, children, adults, elderly people. However, there is no original content anymore, people borrow each other' s ideas and film quite the same videos. Of course, because of the globalization which is moved forward by the Internet, people tend to behave alike, lose their national traditions. People are more prone to spend much time surfing the Internet and thinking how to replace obsolete smartphones as quickly as possible. To conclude, it must be noticed that the development of new technologies had an impact on lives and economies. However, it makes people behave in the same way, forget traditions, celebrate foreign holidays.
There is no doubt that the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
significantly
.
However
, it can
be argued
whether these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or not. Maybe the Internet affects our individuality and in the nearest future everybody will behave alike.

It is well-know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
our everyday life.
Firstly
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the Internet it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with relatives and friends, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
far away.
Secondly
, financiers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
may receive information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
connected with economics much
Use only "faster" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more faster
that in the past. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to accomplish more financial operations at a time.
Finally
, the whole process of getting access to the information became easier.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
students do not need to go to libraries and spend their precious time
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
almost every book can
be found
on the Internet.
What is more
, after a long working day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can read all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and fresh articles using their smartphones or laptops. There is no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
newspapers, magazines, books.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behaving
in the same way
due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Internet&
#039; s influence.
For example
, nowadays there is a trend of blogging on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
. Thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
film themselves and post videos about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
on the website. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about their journeys, universities, relationships with friends and relatives, give cooking and art master-classes. More and more internet users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the community of video bloggers, children, adults, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, there is no original content anymore,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
borrow each
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and film quite the same videos.
Of course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the globalization which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
forward by the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to behave alike, lose their national traditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are more prone to spend much time surfing the Internet and thinking how to replace obsolete smartphones as
quickly
as possible.

To conclude
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be noticed
that the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies had an impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and economies.
However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behave
in the same way
, forget traditions, celebrate foreign holidays.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has transformed lives and economies but it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. with this opinion? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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