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In some countries, schools have added a foreign language in the curriculum of primary schools. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

In some countries, schools have added a foreign language in the curriculum of primary schools. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Climate change is among the principal dangers that face people this century and ocean levels are rising dramatically. This essay will first suggest the biggest problem with this phenomenon is the flooding of homes and then submit a building of protection against these dangers. First and the foremost problem are increased temperatures cause tides that flood peoples home, which is the primary need of the humans. This leads to losing all their possessions and shelter, they thrive in their lives. If this continues almost half of the country would lie underwater in the near future. For example, the dangerous tsunami that wiped almost all the cities in the Japan which is the worst memory for each and every mankind out there. The viable solution to this predicament would be conserving the natural resources, preventing further damage to climate by planting trees and most importantly, constructing dams, dikes, and rivers prevent floods if something goes wrong. This should be considered as an emergency and the country should adapt defences against inundation is so poor that even if water rises a foot than the normal, whole cities would probably wash out for that. So, for this reason we need to be ready for the devastation and construct the safe structures. For instance, the Netherlands is the most flooding countries for which it has employed major flood defences. In conclusion, it's hard to believe that soon or later the sea level would rise and climate is unstable for its changes. So, construction of flood defences and stopping the damage that is being done to the environment could possibly bring down the dangers.
Climate
change
is among the principal
dangers
that face
people
this century and ocean levels are rising
dramatically
. This essay will
first
suggest the biggest problem with this phenomenon is the flooding of homes and then submit a building of protection against these
dangers
.

First
and the foremost problem
are increased
temperatures cause tides that
flood
peoples home, which is the primary need of the humans. This leads to losing all their possessions and shelter, they thrive in their
lives
.
If
this continues almost half of the country would lie underwater in the near future.
For example
, the
dangerous
tsunami that wiped almost all the cities in the Japan which is the worst memory for each and every mankind out there.

The viable solution to this predicament would be conserving the natural resources, preventing
further
damage to climate by planting trees and most
importantly
, constructing dams, dikes, and rivers
prevent
floods
if something goes
wrong
. This should
be considered
as an emergency and the country should adapt
defences
against inundation is
so
poor that even if water rises a foot than the normal, whole cities would
probably
wash out for that.
So
,
for this reason
we need to be ready for the devastation and construct the safe structures.
For instance
, the Netherlands is the most flooding countries for which it has employed major
flood
defences
.

In conclusion
, it's
hard
to believe that
soon
or later the sea level would rise and climate is unstable for its
changes
.
So
, construction of
flood
defences
and stopping the damage
that is
being done
to the environment could
possibly
bring down the
dangers
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, schools have added a foreign language in the curriculum of primary schools. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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