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In some countries people who visit art galleries are reducing. What are the reasons? How can this problem be solved? v.3

In some countries people who visit art galleries are reducing. What are the reasons? How can this problem be solved? v. 3
Art galleries, in most of the countries, have become less crowded these days. There are multiple reasons for this, including lack of interest in people and busy lifestyle. This problem can be resolved by understanding the issue and furnishing the galleries in a more attractive way. There is a decreasing trend of visiting exhibitions among many nations of the world due to the hectic schedule and loss of interest. Life has become so fast these days that the people are busy in earning their bread and butter round the clock. Similarly, due to technological advancements and the availability of attractive gadgets, there is an increasing population who has limited attraction towards the craft. All this has led to a fall in the number of individuals who visit art councils and ultimately decline in the popularity of cultural values. A recent study has shown that the popularity index of artistry in Pakistan has fallen from 46% to only 21% over the past 10 years. The problem of the reduced popularity of craftsmanship can be solved by addressing the problem at an appropriate forum and secondly making these places more lucrative. Identifying this at government level will have a positive impact on the betterment of the field. Moreover, it's the duty of the state to invest and uplift these sectors by making them more glamourous. All these will ultimately attract more people and make the places more crowded. The Chinese are among those nations who have uplifted their cultural values in true letter and spirit. To conclude, art has a significant role in the society and it's uplifting is of utmost importance as most of the people are forgetting its value in the fast pace of life.
Art galleries, in most of the countries, have become less crowded these days. There are multiple reasons for this, including lack of interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and busy lifestyle. This problem can
be resolved
by understanding the issue and furnishing the galleries in a more attractive way.

There is a decreasing trend of visiting exhibitions among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations of the world due to the hectic schedule and loss of interest. Life has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
these days that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy in earning their bread and butter round the clock.
Similarly
, due to technological advancements and the availability of attractive gadgets, there is an increasing population who has limited attraction towards the craft. All this has led to a fall in the number of individuals who visit art councils and
ultimately
decline in the popularity of cultural values. A recent study has shown that the popularity index of artistry in Pakistan has fallen from 46% to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
21% over the past 10 years.

The problem of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
popularity of craftsmanship can
be solved
by addressing the problem at an appropriate forum and
secondly
making these places more lucrative. Identifying this at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
level will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the betterment of the field.
Moreover
, it's the duty of the state to invest and uplift these sectors by making them more
Possible spelling mistake found.
glamourous
. All these will
ultimately
attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the places more crowded. The Chinese are among those nations who have uplifted their cultural values in true letter and spirit.

To conclude
, art has a significant role in the society and it's uplifting is of utmost importance as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forgetting its value in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay In some countries people who visit art galleries are reducing. What are the reasons? How can this problem be solved? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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