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In some countries people who visit art galleries are reducing What are the reasons for this How can this problem be solved v.1

In some countries people who visit art galleries are reducing What are the reasons for this How can this problem be solved v. 1
Most of the professors and teachers think that it is very helpful for students if they have an international exchange program. This essay totally agrees with the statement because it will help graduates to achieve knowledge of different cultures and to make a good career after the graduations. Travelling to a foreign university and doing one semester might give some extra curricular knowledge, such as knowing the language, culture and living status of general people. A study has shown when a person meets other another from a different culture they become very enthusiastic to know their languages and it helps them to develop as a humble man towards others. Moreover, there was a study done by the University of Sydney regarding human cognitive behaviour and it shows people who lived in a multicultural environments or know more than one language have a better view about life than the people who lived in a single community. International exchange students might have a better chance to build a successful career because they have will have more experiences. Study and work abroad provide such multinational work experience which helps to get a new job or build a business compare to local students. For instance, University of New Delhi had a student interchange program with London College and later it had shown that students from both institutes have done remarkable on their post graduation career. In conclusion, there are lots of benefits of having an international exchange trip such as it expand social knowledge and motivates to build a great career. It is predicted that, in the future all schools, colleges and universities will start a collaborative student exchange program.
Most of the professors and teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
if they have an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
program. This essay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
graduates to achieve knowledge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career after the graduations.

Travelling to a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and doing one semester might give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
knowledge, such as knowing the language, culture and living status of general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. A study has shown when a person meets other another from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture they become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enthusiastic to know their languages and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to develop as a humble
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
towards others.
Moreover
, there was a study done by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Sydney regarding human cognitive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a multicultural
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "environment"?
environments
or know more than one language have a better view about life than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a single community.

International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might have a better chance to build a successful career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have will have more experiences. Study and work abroad provide such multinational work experience which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a new job or build a business compare to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of New Delhi had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
interchange program with London College and later it had shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from both institutes have done remarkable on their post graduation career.

In conclusion
, there are lots of benefits of having an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
trip such as it expand social knowledge and motivates to build a great career. It
is predicted
that, in the future all schools, colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a collaborative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
program.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries people who visit art galleries are reducing What are the reasons for this How can this problem be solved v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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