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In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. v. 3
Crimes are private wrongs and often committed by all ages. However, some people assert that all types of criminals should send to the jail while others condemn and say that should be diverted to the community services. I utterly believe that imprisonment is not an actual punishment to several kinds of crimes. The forthcoming paragraphs will scrutinize my virtues. At the outset of this new millennium, unless murder or robbery is concerned, individuals who commit minor mistakes should not be put into the jail because isolation provides them an another opportunity to think of the various other types of crimes. Also, they should be given other chance for improvement so that they can learn something ameliorate from such thing. It is an undeniable fact that youngsters always start to take drugs in the jails along with their companions. So, assigning them community services seems a better option. Although it is essential to teach them a lesson for their future endeavor by punishing them. In addition, when they deprived of and amenities and other privileges in the jail they will surely better think to commit a crime second time. But, still, some offenders boost their strength after being imprisoned. Therefore, it is advisable to indulge them in socialization so that they can avoid anti-social contacts and improve their mistakes. Hammering the last nail of this topic, it is sensible as well as an appropriate measure for individuals who do thefts and other identical crimes should be addressed to do societal services in lieu of imprisonment which, maybe, mount up their enthusiasm and confidence to commit severe offences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crimes
are private wrongs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
committed by all ages.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that all types of criminals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
while others condemn and say that should
be diverted
to the community services. I
utterly
believe that imprisonment is not an actual punishment to several kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. The forthcoming paragraphs will scrutinize my virtues.

At the outset of this new millennium, unless murder or robbery
is concerned
, individuals who commit minor mistakes should not
be put
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
isolation provides them
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "an opportunity" or "another opportunity".
an another opportunity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Also
, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
chance for improvement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can learn something ameliorate from such thing. It is an undeniable fact that youngsters always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to take drugs in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
along with their companions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, assigning them community services seems a better option.

Although it is essential to teach them a lesson for their future endeavor by punishing them.
In addition
, when they deprived of and amenities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
privileges in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
they will
surely
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
second time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
still
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offenders boost their strength after
being imprisoned
.
Therefore
, it is advisable to indulge them in socialization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can avoid anti-social contacts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their mistakes.

Hammering the last nail of this topic, it is sensible
as well
as an appropriate measure for individuals who do thefts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
identical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should
be addressed
to do societal services in lieu of imprisonment which, maybe, mount up their enthusiasm and confidence to commit severe
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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