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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercises. v.672

It’s better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercises. v. 672
Relaxation, as we all know, for the majority of people, is the most crucial part of their life. Although it may seem exaggerated, at first sight, many people may debate about the feel of relaxing sensible. In this regard, many people support this opinion that it is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercises. Contrary to common belief, I believe that doing exercises brings not only the relaxation feeling but also provides a situation for making friends that are helpful for a comfortable feeling, as well. I will delve into two conspicuous reasons to elaborate on my standpoint. The first reason that makes me hold this belief that doing exercise provide relaxation feeling is the concentration. Undoubtedly, during exercising, the mind focuses on a job that the body has done and distracted from the other concerns a person may have thought about. Moreover, doing exercise makes the body become tired, and we can sleep after that comfortably. Although many scholars may critic this behavior, and assume it unsuitable, as we all know, that kind of sleep is the most pleasant, and very helpful for relaxation. Take my personal experience as an example, when I exposing to the traumatic situation I try to avoid it as much as possible, and the best way that helps me to refute every stressful situation is the feeling of focusing that I have experienced while doing an exercise. Therefore, doing exercise is helpful, both physically and mentally. Another equally noteworthy reason to bear in mind is making friends. Without a doubt, having many friends is a helpful way of reducing stress or providing the feeling of comfortable. Apparently, one of the best ways that a person can make friends is in a gym, which lots of people doing the same activity. Based on an experiment that has conducted recently, results showed that people who have many friends with common interests would feel more relaxed when they spend time with each other than people who spend time reading books solely. Therefore, as human beings that social life plays a dominant role in our lives, what would have happened to our feelings if we had not had friends? Thus, finding a way of making friends is critical to us, and which way is more adorable than doing exercise? To summarize, contemplating all remarks, we can safely conclude that doing sport provides the feeling of relaxation both by concentrating the mind on an activity a person does and by providing friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Relaxation
, as we all know, for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, is the most crucial part of their life. Although it may seem exaggerated, at
first
sight,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may debate about the feel of relaxing sensible. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support this opinion that it is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. Contrary to common belief, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
brings not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides a situation for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helpful
for a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
,
as well
. I will delve into two conspicuous reasons to elaborate on my standpoint.

The
first
reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me hold this belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
is the concentration.
Undoubtedly
, during exercising, the mind focuses on a job that the body has done and distracted from the other concerns a person may have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the body become tired, and we can sleep after that
comfortably
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scholars may critic this behavior, and assume it unsuitable, as we all know, that kind of sleep is the most pleasant, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helpful
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxation
. Take my personal experience as an example, when
Did you mean "I'm exposing", "I am exposing", or "I was exposing"?
I exposing
to the traumatic situation I try to avoid it as much as possible, and the best way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to refute every stressful situation is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of focusing that I have experienced while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helpful
, both
physically
and mentally.

Another
equally
noteworthy reason to bear in mind is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Without a doubt, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helpful
way of reducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or providing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of comfortable.
Apparently
, one of the best ways that a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is in a gym, which lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the same activity. Based on an experiment that has conducted recently, results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with common interests would feel more relaxed when they spend time with each other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend time reading books
solely
.
Therefore
, as human beings that social life plays a dominant role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, what would have happened to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
if we had not had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
?
Thus
, finding a way of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is critical to us, and which way is more adorable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
exercise?

To summarize
, contemplating all remarks, we can
safely
conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
sport provides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxation
both by concentrating the mind on an activity a person does and by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It’s better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercises. v. 672

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
421 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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