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In some countries people prefer to live alone more often than in the past. Do you think is a positive or a negative development? Why? v.2

In some countries people prefer to live alone more often than in the past. Do you think is a positive or a negative development? Why? v. 2
Over the years, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of people who lives alone. Globalization has made it possible to find jobs in nearly all parts of the world. In a bid to build their career, they leave their home and country and live alone in another part of the world. There has also been an increase in the number of people to live alone. I think this trend is more popular in western countries. There are at least a few benefits to living alone. When you live alone, you have absolute freedom. You also learn to do things on your own. This makes you stronger as a person. On the other hand, living alone has several disadvantages too. Psychologists believe that being disconnected from one's family can make one emotionally weak. As human beings, we need people to share our joys and sorrows with. We need people to take care of us when we are ill. Perhaps this is the biggest disadvantage of living alone. When you need help, you have none to offer it. In addition, people who are used to living alone may have difficulty adjusting when they have to share space with others. They might even come across as unfriendly. After analysing this development it is not hard to see that living alone has its fair share of advantage and disadvantage. However, in my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Human beings are gregarious by nature. We seek company and feel happy when we have our friends and family around. It is true that the traditional family setup curtails the amount of freedom an individual can enjoy. However, there are many ways to improve the situation. In my opinion, there is absolutely no need to live alone just to enjoy freedom.
Over the years, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. Globalization has made it possible to find jobs in
nearly
all parts of the world. In a bid to build their career, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home and country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
in another part of the world.

There has
also
been an increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this trend is more popular in western countries. There are at least a few benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, you have absolute freedom. You
also
learn to do things on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you stronger as a person.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
has several disadvantages too. Psychologists believe that
being disconnected
from one's family can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one
emotionally
weak. As human beings, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to share our joys and sorrows with. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take care of us when we are ill. Perhaps this is the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, you have none to offer it.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
may have difficulty adjusting when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
share space with others. They might even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across as
unfriendly
.

After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
this development it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
share of advantage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
.
However
, in my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Human beings are gregarious by nature. We seek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and feel happy when we have our friends and family around. It is true that the traditional family setup curtails the amount of freedom an individual can enjoy.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation. In my opinion, there is
absolutely
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to enjoy freedom.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries people prefer to live alone more often than in the past. Do you think is a positive or a negative development? Why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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