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In some countries, people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to the latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development? v.1

In some countries, people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to the latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
With the advent of the twentieth century, people are increasingly taking more time, resources and effort to buy clothes and other cosmetic products, according to the newest trend. In this essay, I will explain its reasons and the how that can be detrimental to the society. To start with, there are many reasons why people are spending too much for flaunting the latest fashion trend. Firstly, it makes people feel good in themselves, which in turn can boost their confidence. Secondly, being clothed in the new fad makes the youngsters look stylish that can raise their confidence levels. For example, it is widely known that the youngsters these days are ready to spend any amount in order to look stylish. Finally, wearing different varieties of clothes makes them attractive to the opposite sex. Thus, because of the natural affinity of mankind to look good, they have been spending increasingly on recently released clothing items. However, the status quo of such a mindset can be hugely detrimental to the society, at large. Not only do people would need to spend so much more time on grooming themselves, but also they would need to spend way higher to look better. For instance, it is an accepted fact that there are no direct results to be derived from looking better by wearing clothes and other accessories in the current form. Additionally, middle income families would need to keep aside a big chunk of their income to adopt themselves to the latest fad, which stems as a result of the requirement to merge into the society like everyone else. To conclude, the adoption of the latest fashion trend can be shown to bring in no direct results despite its cost and time requirements. Nevertheless, people worldwide is increasingly spending on upgrading their accessories to feel good about themselves.
With the advent of the twentieth century,
people
are
increasingly
taking more time, resources and effort to
buy
clothes and other cosmetic products, according to the newest trend. In this essay, I will
explain
its reasons and
the how
that can be detrimental to the society.

To
start
with, there are
many
reasons why
people
are spending too much for flaunting the latest fashion trend.
Firstly
, it
makes
people
feel
good
in themselves, which in turn can boost their confidence.
Secondly
,
being clothed
in the new fad
makes
the youngsters
look
stylish that can raise their confidence levels.
For example
, it is
widely
known that the youngsters these days are ready to spend any amount in order to
look
stylish.
Finally
, wearing
different
varieties of clothes
makes
them attractive to the opposite sex.
Thus
,
because
of the natural affinity of mankind to
look
good
, they have been spending
increasingly
on recently released clothing items.

However
, the status quo of such a mindset can be
hugely
detrimental to the society, at large. Not
only
do
people
would need to spend
so
much more time on grooming themselves,
but
also
they would need to spend way higher to
look
better.
For instance
, it is an
accepted
fact that there are no direct results to
be derived
from looking better by wearing clothes and other accessories in the
current
form.
Additionally
, middle income families would need to
keep
aside a
big
chunk of their income to adopt themselves to the latest fad, which stems
as a result
of the requirement to merge into the society like everyone else.

To conclude
, the adoption of the latest fashion trend can
be shown
to bring in no direct results despite its cost and time requirements.
Nevertheless
,
people
worldwide is
increasingly
spending on upgrading their accessories to feel
good
about themselves.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to the latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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