Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that school children should learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with academic subjects at school. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that school children should learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with academic subjects at school. v. 2
Young learners always find an activity base learning more interesting. Some believe that younger school students should gain hands-on experience alongside with regular subjects. It is one great way of studying at school with more realism. So I fully agree with the statement and I will discuss this in this essay. Firstly, pragmatic skill learning will aid child students to grasp the theoretical concept more naturally and accurately, therefore this will come in handy in the future job market, because employers are very eager to hire people who richly in a hands-on experience when they come out of educational institutions. For example, It may be more practical to teach them to get real look-and-feel on a common vehicle and its’ components and maybe how to take care while teaching the science lessons about vehicles in the school. This might help to offer more talented individuals to a country’s workforce. Furthermore, this method of teaching will be essential for sharpening the abilities, which helps to develop Childs’ proper planning abilities, such as financial planning and management. If the student were given a lesson on the importance of financial management, it is better to participate them real-life banking activities. Such as, opening a bank account and how to manage their bank account properly, it will raise the interest and might give them a proper knowledge of how to manage their finances. Regarding proper planning, attending to actual skills will play a vital role in future planning. To conclude, real hand-on skills will be essential considering when competing for better professions and when comes to the proper management skills or even other fields of areas. Undoubtedly I completely agree with the statement.
Young learners always find an activity base learning more interesting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that younger school students should gain hands-on experience alongside with regular subjects. It is one great way of studying at school with more realism.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and I will discuss this in this essay.

Firstly
, pragmatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
learning will aid child students to grasp the theoretical concept more
naturally
and
accurately
,
therefore
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in handy in the future job market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
employers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
eager to hire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
richly
in a hands-on experience when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of educational institutions.
For example
, It may be more practical to teach them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
real look-and-feel on a common vehicle and
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its’
components and maybe how to take care while teaching the science lessons about vehicles in the school. This might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to offer more talented individuals to a country’s workforce.

Furthermore
, this method of teaching will be essential for sharpening the abilities, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to develop
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childs
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
planning abilities, such as financial planning and management. If the student were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a lesson on the importance of financial management, it is better to participate them real-life banking activities. Such as, opening a bank account and how to manage their bank account
properly
, it will raise the interest and might give them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
knowledge of how to manage their finances. Regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
planning, attending to actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will play a vital role in future planning.

To conclude
, real hand-on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will be essential considering when competing for better professions and when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or even other fields of areas.
Undoubtedly
I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that school children should learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with academic subjects at school. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts