Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development? v.1

In many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
People are attracted than ever towards vogue and stylish trends. Internationally, there obsession with shopping and new haircuts as per the fashionable trends. I think this is a positive for clothe designers and hair stylists. This essay will talk about that advantages of buying clothes and the new looks people acquiring it. Firstly, buying clothes can benefit both the retailers and the consumers in different ways. For instance, the shopping centers revenues will increase due to the demand on clothes and fashionable stuff. Moreover, the consumers may change their perspective and turns into vogue designers and enhance the level of elegance. This is very obvious in the increasing numbers for handmade crafts and clothing retails. Thus, the clothing industry will develop their product to match the people dressing taste. Secondly, hair style nowadays defines person personality and reflect their culture. For example, when you see a long beard man you will guess he is turkish or if you see a certain look it will reminds you with a specific culture or country. That being said, every culure has its own look and ways of doing things, and this due to the nature of their surrondings that affect them and they have to keep it up. To summarize, hair new looks is not just been more popular, but it reflects different identities. In conclusion, the popular trends for clothes shopping and visiting hairstylists are understandable due to the mentioned reasons. I find it a positive develpment as it matches the modern needs and social requirements.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are attracted
than ever towards vogue and stylish trends.
Internationally
, there obsession with shopping and new haircuts as per the fashionable trends. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothe
designers and hair stylists. This essay will talk about that advantages of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
acquiring it.

Firstly
, buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
can benefit both the retailers and the consumers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
For instance
, the shopping centers revenues will increase due to the demand on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and fashionable stuff.
Moreover
, the consumers may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their perspective and turns into vogue designers and enhance the level of elegance. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
obvious in the increasing numbers for handmade crafts and clothing retails.
Thus
, the clothing industry will develop their product to match the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dressing taste.

Secondly
, hair style nowadays defines person personality and reflect their culture.
For example
, when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a long beard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
you will guess he is
Possible spelling mistake found.
turkish
or if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "remind"
reminds
you with a specific culture or country. That
being said
, every
Possible spelling mistake found.
culure
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
and ways of doing things, and this due to the nature of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
surrondings
that affect
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it up.
To summarize
, hair new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
been more popular,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it reflects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
identities.

In conclusion
, the popular trends for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
shopping and visiting hairstylists are understandable due to the mentioned reasons. I find it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake found.
develpment
as it matches the modern needs and social requirements.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay In many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to latest fashion. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts