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In some countries, more and more people are buying imported food rather than buying food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What can be done to encourage people to buy locally produced food. v.1

In some countries, more and more people are buying imported food rather than buying food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What can be done to encourage people to buy locally produced food. v. 1
Whether pursuing university education after high school has been a debatable issue over the years. Some argue favour for the idea that it is the only choice to lead to a successful career while others think that working right after graduating high school is more beneficial. In my opinion, both the aforementioned arguments are true to a certain extent. On the one hand, getting degrees from educational institutes enables learners to apply successfully to suitable jobs. These jobs require a solid academic background as well as critical thinking skills which can be earned exclusively by attending the specialised classes at university. For example, in Viet Nam, one of the prerequisite requirements to apply for a doctor's position at a local hospital is having a master's degree in medicine issued by The University of Medicine and Pharmacy in Ho Chi Minh city. Failing to acquire this degree makes it impossible for potential candidates to impress the interviewers. On the other hand, jumping straight after finishing high school and gaining real work experience is reasonable for several reasons and one of them is money saving. It can be explained by the fact that university fees have become hard to afford, whereas working after twelve grades may intermediately help young learners to support their family. In the northern part of Viet Nam, due to prohibitively expensive expenses at university, some students from middle-class families are unable to follow their further study and they end up with working right after senior high school to both make ends meet and accumulate real experience. All things considered, both university education and work experience play vital parts in guaranteeing a handsome job. Some occupations require a university degree while others do not. In my opinion, everyone should choose what is right for them.
Whether pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has been a debatable issue over the years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
choice to lead to a successful career while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that working right after
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is more beneficial. In my opinion, both the aforementioned arguments are true to a certain extent.

On the one hand, getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
from educational institutes enables learners to apply
successfully
to suitable jobs. These jobs require a solid academic background
as well
as critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which can
be earned
exclusively by attending the
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
classes at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, one of the prerequisite requirements to apply for a doctor's position at a local hospital is having a master's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in medicine issued by The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Medicine and Pharmacy in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
. Failing to acquire this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it impossible for potential candidates to impress the interviewers.

On the other hand
, jumping straight after finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and gaining real work experience is reasonable for several reasons and one of them is money saving. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees have become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to afford, whereas working after twelve grades may
intermediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young learners to support their family. In the northern part of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, due to
prohibitively
expensive expenses at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students from middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families are unable to follow their
further
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
study and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with working right after senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and accumulate real experience.

All things considered, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education and work experience play vital parts in guaranteeing a handsome job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
occupations require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
while others do not. In my opinion, everyone should choose what is right for them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, more and more people are buying imported food rather than buying food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What can be done to encourage people to buy locally produced food. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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