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People are surrounded by advertising which has increasing effect on our lives Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects v.1

People are surrounded by advertising which has increasing effect on our lives Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects v. 1
Learning more about history will always remain a controversial topic whether this is useful or it's just a waste of time. While it's doubted by some people that learning about the past can benefit us in the present, others think history is a significant reference to better understand humanity. The Essay will argue why studying history may not be that useful, but why it could be a valuable source of information to know more about human nature. Although it takes so much time and effort to study history, it might not be an essential topic to begin with. Moreover, the rapid human evolution makes it harder to consider the importance of studying rudimentary subjects that will add no value to our present time. For instance, in Japan, teachers spend too much time teaching science to their students because they think it's more important than knowing how was it like in ancient Rome. Therefore, teaching history is considered to be a waste of time. On the contrary, others believe that history defines nations and it's a source of experiences that we can always refer to. In fact, it wouldn't be possible to understand the complexity of our life if we didn't have history writers to begin with. For example, the Great Alexander taught us how to defeat our enemies and to think in a strategic way. It is for these reasons, learning about the past is a treasure. In conclusion, we need a guide from an ancient era to follow and that simply defines history. The Essay argued why learning about our past is considered to be useless by some of us, but why this is contradicted by others who think this is preposterous. Furthermore, they use it as a guide to discover more about mankind. In my opinion, studying history is not only important, but also interesting.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
will always remain a controversial topic whether this is useful or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
doubted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the past can benefit us in the present, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a significant reference to better understand humanity. The Essay will argue why studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
may not be that useful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why it could be a valuable source of information to know more about human nature.

Although it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and effort to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, it might not be an essential topic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with.
Moreover
, the rapid human evolution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it harder to consider the importance of studying rudimentary subjects that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
no value to our present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, in Japan, teachers spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
teaching science to their students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than knowing how was it like in ancient Rome.
Therefore
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is considered
to be a waste of time.

On the contrary
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
defines nations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
a source of experiences that we can always refer to. In fact, it wouldn't be possible to understand the complexity of our life if we didn't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
writers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with.
For example
, the Great Alexander taught us how to defeat our enemies and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
Consider replacing "in a strategic way" with the adverb for "strategic"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a strategic way
. It is for these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the past is a treasure.

In conclusion
, we need a guide from an ancient era to follow and that
simply
defines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. The Essay argued why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about our past
is considered
to be useless by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why this
is contradicted
by others who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this is preposterous.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it as a guide to discover more about mankind. In my opinion, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
interesting.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People are surrounded by advertising which has increasing effect on our lives Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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