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Question Using the main points and examples from the lecture, describe the two general types of habitats for wildlife found in urban areas v.1

Question Using the main points and examples from the lecture, describe the two general types of habitats for wildlife found in urban areas v. 1
As time goes by, new sorts of products appear each day at the same time with new advertisements. However, the average of the sold products increases, according to what people need. I completely disagree with those who say that the average of the sales increase due to the strong advertisements behind them. There are several reasons why the high sales of popular consumer goods depend on the need of people. First of all, any product in the world will not be sold as long as it does not have any beneficial effects, because no one want to waste his money on something useless. In other words, most of the people think twice before buying any new thing and measure the amount of benefits they can gain from it. For example, if a new phone has been developed with lots of strong advertisement shows the most important features it has, people will not buy it until they read about its all characteristics and understand its features. Another important reason is that, all of the people can directly recognise that the product is mostly useless when its advertisement is so strong, because most of the companies always try to sale its all product so if any of them have not been sold then they will start make a strong advertisement in order to attract the society. Moreover, most of the people get bored due to the number of advertisements they see daily so they usually ignore any advertisement appears in front of them. In conclusion, although most of the companies spend a huge amount of money for advertising, i think that whatever they were strong, the high sales of any good is only depend on the need of the society and whether they have found the product beneficial or not.
As time goes by,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
appear each day at the same time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
However
, the average of the sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
increases, according to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need. I completely disagree with those who say that the average of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
increase due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
behind them.

There are several reasons why the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of popular consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
depend on the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the world will not
be sold
as long as it does not have any beneficial effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one want to waste his money on something useless.
In other words
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
thing and measure the amount of benefits they can gain from it.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phone has
been developed
with lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
features it has,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it until they read about its all characteristics and understand its features.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
directly
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
mostly
useless when its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
always try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if any of them have not
been sold
then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in order to attract the society.
Moreover
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored due to the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
daily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
appears in front of them.

In conclusion
, although most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
spend a huge amount of money for advertising,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that whatever they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
, the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
depend on the need of the society and whether they have found the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
beneficial or not.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Question Using the main points and examples from the lecture, describe the two general types of habitats for wildlife found in urban areas v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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