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In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems. v.9

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. v. 9
Its an undeniable fact that marriage is one of the pivotal factor in deciding the trajectory of the one' s growth and attaining mental peace in life. Perfect partner is desired by everyone and process of choosing the partner is tedious and complex one. Nowadays choosing one' s own partner is very common and arranged marriages are losing their grip. In this essay I am going to discuss about advantages and disadvantages of both the aspects. Due to increased gender equality most of the schools, colleges and universities are co-education and it is obvious to develop feelings for someone. Further, with increased audacity among the young age population the love marriage approach is now considered as safer and easier. Partners usually get time to understand each other and evaluate the compatibility between them to avoid any issues post marriage. Parents have also changed themselves over the period of time and accepted this changed approach due to the fact that they can prevent the resources employed for searching a partner and even after so much scrutiny in arranged marriage, chances of successful marriage are negligible. On the other hand, some parents in rural areas or highly reputed people still want their children to get married as per their consent and choice. This aspect is sometimes beneficial because parents tend to enquire about family history before they make any decision and with involvement of elder people from both the sides ensure that there is no surprise before marriage. However, imposing decision on children without their consent can plunge the children into cauldron of hate and rage. Even though, both factors have equal advantages and disadvantages but I feel that liberty to choose life partner should lie with the person itself and one should take consent of parents as well before deciding.
Its an undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is one of the pivotal factor in deciding the trajectory of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s growth and attaining mental peace in life. Perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
is desired
by everyone and process of choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
is tedious and complex one. Nowadays choosing
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common and arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
are losing their grip. In this essay I am going to
Did you mean simply "discuss advantages"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about advantages
and disadvantages of both the aspects.

Due to increased gender equality most of the schools, colleges and universities are co-education and it is obvious to develop feelings for someone.
Further
, with increased audacity among the young age population the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
approach is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considered as safer and easier.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Partners
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time to understand each other and evaluate the compatibility between them to avoid any issues post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
themselves over the period of time and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
approach due to the fact that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the resources employed for searching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
and even after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much scrutiny in arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, chances of successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
are negligible.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in rural areas or
highly
reputed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
want their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married as per their consent and choice. This aspect is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about family history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any decision and with involvement of elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from both the sides ensure that there is no surprise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
.
However
, imposing decision on children without their consent can plunge the children into cauldron of hate and rage.

Even though
, both factors have equal advantages and disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I feel that liberty to choose life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
should lie with the person itself and one should take consent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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