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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples f v.16

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. 16
Changing with time is human nature, the whole world adopt itself with the passage of time. some individual believe that they should follow the same routine, while other have view that revolution in life is always a good thing. The following essay will discuss both the views and will try to figure out possible conclusion. First of all, a large proportion of population in the world is not satisfied from their routines and jobs. Moreover, they want a revolution in their lives, as well as, in their countries. However, this change could be positive or negative. Thus, if a person want to moulds his life in a better way, it should be appreciated. For instance, a person want to cease smoking, gambling or drinking. Being positive changes these must be kept. Similarly, someone going abroad for education and for a change needs to be encouraged. In contrast, some changes are also negative and have bad impact on life. As a result, it would be better to prevent such alteration. For example, someone is in critical stage of his studies and wants to leave school. In addition to this, start smoking, resigning from a good job and joining a bad company, all are negative changes and are better to be avoided. As every decision has good or bad affects, therefore, one should think over it before taking any decision. In a nutshell, changes can be either positive or negative. So, in my opinion, an individual must adopt itself to a positive change, while on the other hand, negative change should be opposed. By doing this, a human being can live a peaceful and healthy life.
Changing with time is human nature, the whole world adopt itself with the passage of time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
Did you mean "individuals"?
individual
believe that they should follow the same routine, while other have view that revolution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is always a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing. The following essay will discuss both the views and will try to figure out possible conclusion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a large proportion of population in the world is not satisfied from their routines and jobs.
Moreover
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
a revolution in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
as well
as, in their countries.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
.
Thus
, if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "mould".
moulds
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a better way, it should
be appreciated
.
For instance
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to cease smoking, gambling or drinking. Being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
.
Similarly
, someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "goes", "went".
going
abroad for education and for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
needs to
be encouraged
.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
As a result
, it would be better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such alteration.
For example
, someone is in critical stage of his studies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
school.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
smoking, resigning from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job and joining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, all are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and are better to
be avoided
. As every decision has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
affects,
therefore
, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
over it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking any decision.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
can be either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion, an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
adopt itself to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, while
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
should
be opposed
. By doing this, a human being can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a peaceful and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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