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In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state which one do you think is better. v.8

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. v. 8
The number of divorced couples is far high in countries which practice a tradition to arrange marriages, while this is significantly less in democratic countries; nonetheless, those countries appear to continue the tradition despite the substantial number of divorce. In my opinion, marriages should not be predetermined in terms of demography and economy. Arranged marriages have a direct contribution to the reduced number of birthrate since couples who are forced to get married usually get divorced within a year without having a chance to conceive a child. This practice is conducted and believed to be successful among wealthy families since it is undesirable to share their fortune with plebs; however, it is the unsuccessful approach for average since they constitute of the main proportion of overall population. Thus, the more predetermined marriages, especially among the middle-class population, the less number of birthrate, which, in turn, decreases the chance of a country to prosper as the country will experience employee scarcity in the foreseeable future. The decreased number of population inevitably affects economy of a country since it shrinks the number of taxpayers and laborers, which triggers a myriad of social problems. The government with negative budget balance, for instance, can not afford to construct infrastructures, which is vital to prosper and to develop for a country. Moreover, when those couples who divorced due to arranged marriages, as a result lack of any children, are predicted to be an additional burden to the governmental budget since the government will have taken care of them when they are retired. The tradition of arranging marriage has a direct effect on the prosperity of a country. Thus, it is critical that a marriage is not predetermined; otherwise, it has a dramatic adverse effect on development of a country.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of divorced couples is far high in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which practice a tradition to arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
, while this is
significantly
less in democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
; nonetheless, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
appear to continue the tradition despite the substantial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of divorce. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
should not
be predetermined
in terms of demography and economy.

Arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
have a direct contribution to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of birthrate since couples who
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
divorced within a year without having a chance to conceive a child. This practice
is conducted
and believed to be successful among wealthy families since it is undesirable to share their fortune with plebs;
however
, it is the unsuccessful approach for average since they constitute of the main proportion of
overall
population.
Thus
, the more predetermined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
,
especially
among the middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
population, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of birthrate, which, in turn, decreases the chance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to prosper as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will experience employee scarcity in the foreseeable future.

The decreased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of population
inevitably
affects economy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
since it shrinks the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of taxpayers and laborers, which triggers a myriad of social problems. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
budget balance,
for instance
, can not afford to construct infrastructures, which is vital to prosper and to develop for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, when those couples who divorced due to arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
,
as a result
lack of any children,
are predicted
to be an additional burden to the governmental budget since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will have taken care of them when they
are retired
.

The tradition of arranging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
has a direct effect on the prosperity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
, it is critical that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is not predetermined;
otherwise
, it has a dramatic adverse effect on development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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