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Some people believe that children should do educational activities during their Free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that children should do educational activities during their Free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. v. 1
Education plays a significant role in society. Guardians states that children should engage in academic activities during their leisure hour than other entertainments. While, opposite side argues that it is not at all a right manner. This essay discussed these views in some detail before and states the personal opinion. On the one hand, it is the responsibility of children to spend their entertainment occasion for study purposes. For instance, if students had worked hard they would have achieved the goal of a better future. The present generations are living in a competitive global, this may have a significant role from the beginning to end of a child's life. In addition, it is not only helps a child to achieve their goal for the future, but also makes him an independent person. On the other hand, Free second, which is considered as an occasion for children to involve in relaxation activities. For example, if children had entertains, themselves during leisure stage, they would have overcome academic stress and make their mind freely. The current educational materials are extremely hard and more advanced compared to previous years. Furthermore, preparing students for entrance exams at an early age might also a way for creating mental tension and depression. Providing free moment aids youngsters to overcome their depression. Therefore, both the academic as well as leisure life plays an equal role for students betterment. After evaluating the different viewpoints given above, it can be stated that education is one of the key factors for analysing a person's achievement in the progressive world. However, there are many other entertainments to understand the growing generation's talents. The more parents should encourage children to express their views, the more posterity would rise.
Education plays a significant role in society.
Guardians states
that
children
should engage in academic activities during their leisure hour than other entertainments.
While
, opposite side argues that it is not at all a right manner. This essay discussed these views in
some
detail
before
and states the personal opinion. On the one hand, it is the responsibility of
children
to spend their entertainment occasion for study purposes.
For instance
, if students had worked
hard
they would have achieved the goal of a better future. The present generations are living in a competitive global, this may have a significant role from the beginning to
end
of a child's life.
In addition
, it is not
only
helps
a child to achieve their goal for the future,
but
also
makes
him an independent person.
On the other hand
, Free second, which
is considered
as an occasion for
children
to involve in relaxation activities.
For example
, if
children
had entertains, themselves during leisure stage, they would have overcome academic
stress
and
make
their mind
freely
. The
current
educational materials are
extremely
hard
and more advanced compared to previous years.
Furthermore
, preparing students for entrance exams at an early age might
also
a way for creating mental tension and depression. Providing free moment aids youngsters to overcome their depression.
Therefore
, both the academic
as well as
leisure life plays an equal role for students betterment. After evaluating the
different
viewpoints
given
above, it can
be stated
that education is one of the key factors for
analysing
a person's achievement in the progressive world.
However
, there are
many
other entertainments to understand the growing generation's talents. The more parents should encourage
children
to express their views, the more posterity would rise.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children should do educational activities during their Free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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