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In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views? v.5

Many nations believe that staring formal education of children at early are as four is better where another believe that start schooling at age of seven or eight better. I agree to later statement. My preference is discussed further. To begin with, There many important things which children should learn before they start their formal education. Things like proper speaking skills, bit of writing in skills and small amount reading skills. For that in many countries there is a kinder gardens, where children can learn these basic skills before they start school. Kinder garden not only give learning of basic skills like reading, writing and speaking but also give them teaching on topics like social skills, creativity. Therefore, if children start their formal education at early age like four, they might miss the chance to learn all these basic skills. Besides, Today's formal education is putting lot of pressure on students to get good grades and it can not be denied that kind pressure may result in detrimental effect on children's minds. Thus, It is advisable that children should start their schooling when they are seven or eight old. At age of seven or eight children would have understanding of education than four year old. Also as children are entering school when they have good understanding of basic skills and concepts like discipline, good behavior. In conclusion, I think it is more advisable that children start there schooling at age of seven or eight because it give children a proper time to get their grip on basic skills which they are going to use in their formal education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nations believe that staring
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formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
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children
at early are as four is better where another believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
schooling at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven or eight better. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to later statement. My preference
is discussed
further
.

To
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begin
with, There
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things which
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children
should learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Things like proper speaking
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skills
, bit of writing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. For that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries there is a kinder gardens, where
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children
can learn these
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basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
school. Kinder garden not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give learning of
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basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like reading, writing and speaking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give them teaching on topics like social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, creativity.
Therefore
, if
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
like four, they might miss the chance to learn all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is putting lot of pressure on students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades and it can not
be denied
that kind pressure may result in detrimental effect on children's minds.
Thus
, It is advisable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their schooling when they are seven or eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven or eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would have understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than four year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Also
as
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children
are entering school when they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and concepts like discipline,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more advisable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
there schooling at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven or eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a proper time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their grip on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which they are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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