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In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight years old. How far do you agree with either of these views? v.2

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight years old. How far do you agree with either of these views? v. 2
There are some opinions between people about the time children should go to school. Some people believe that children should go to school when they are four years old, while others disagree that children do not have to go to school until they are eight years old. In my opinion, it is necessary to let children study at 4 years old, but it will be better if they only have to know about basic moral There are some reasons why parents should let children go to school when they are 4. First, the sooner they go to school, the better their ability to gain knowledge. If a child studies as early as possible, he won’t be shocked when joining the learning routine, moreover, when he has a misunderstand thing in his learning process, he will have time to study again. Furthermore, when studying at four, children might have more time to review knowledge or learn further education. However, an 8-year-old child starts going to school also has benefits that others who has studied for 4 years. 8-year-old children have brains more creative and developed than brains of 4-year-old children. So, they will make better performance at school. Moreover, an 8-year-old child is more mature and have ability to stand school pressure, which helps him to easily solve some problems. Besides, children start school at 4 have less spare time, and it can even destroy their childhood. In conclusion, to ensure that children have leisure time for their childhood but still obtain knowledge, I suggest that children can start school at 4, but at that time, they only have to study basic moral in life to know the right behavior
There are
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some
opinions between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when they are four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, while others disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until they are eight years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. In my opinion, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at 4 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will be better if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know about basic moral

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when they are 4.
First
, the sooner they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the better their ability to gain knowledge. If a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as early as possible, he won’t
be shocked
when joining the learning routine,
moreover
, when he has a
The word 'rebrand' is not a noun. Did you mean "misunderstanding"?
misunderstand
thing in his learning process, he will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
again.
Furthermore
, when studying at four,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to review knowledge or learn
further
education.

However
, an 8-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
has benefits that others who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'others' should be used.
has
studied for 4 years. 8-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have brains more creative and developed than brains of 4-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Moreover
, an 8-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child is more mature and have ability to stand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
pressure, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him to
easily
solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at 4 have less spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and it can even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their childhood.

In conclusion
, to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their childhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
obtain knowledge, I suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at 4,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
basic moral in life to know the right behavior
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight years old. How far do you agree with either of these views? v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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