Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views? v. 3
In some parts of the world, parents encourage their children to start studying at the age of four years old. While, in other countries parents prefer that their children start their study around the age of seven years old. First of all, it is being believed that starting formal school at an early age can have a major effect on the child's academic progress. Therefor, this can make them well ahead, the others who are in the same age group in subjects as math and language, for example. A have read a study claimed that children who has started studying in early age are equipped to different kind of examination for school entry if this is relevant. On the other hand, in some countries children start the formal school at seven years old, they might just learn who to write and read at that age too. However, children can enjoy at the play school, where they can listen and tell stories, paint and drew, also they can build houses in the play school garden. The government thinks that children are not ready to start school at the age of four, they might face a problem that they are not able yet to deal with as boiling. In my point of view, the question is not what is the most effective way of learning, there is respectful scientist who have start their study earlier while, there is others who did not. For instance, as I have read there is a different survey has showed that the rate of students who start their academic study at 4 is mostly equal to the rate of students who start at the age of 7. In other words what I believe is that the quality of the education what is really matter. In conclusion, each country have their own education system. Some start at 4 and some at 7, both sides have reasons. A one common thing is that each country tries to find the best way to benefit their students, starting the formal school or going to the play school is both considered as a way of learning.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world, parents encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
studying at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
parents prefer that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
being believed
that starting formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
can have a major effect on the child's academic progress. Therefor, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them well ahead, the others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group in subjects as math and language,
for example
.
Did you mean "I"?
A
have read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'children' should be used.
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
studying in early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are equipped
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of examination for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
entry if this is relevant.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
the formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
to write and read at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
too.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can enjoy at the play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, where they can listen and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
stories, paint and drew,
also
they can build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in the play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
garden. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of four, they might face a problem that they are not able
yet
to deal with as boiling.

In my point of view, the question is not what is the most effective way of learning, there is respectful scientist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
earlier while,
Did you mean "there are others"?
there is others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not.
For instance
, as I have read there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
survey has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the rate of students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at 4 is
mostly
equal to the rate of students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 7. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words what I believe is that the quality of the education what is
really
matter.

In conclusion
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
education system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
at 4 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
at 7, both sides have reasons. A one common thing is that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
tries to find the best way to benefit their students, starting the formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or going to the play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is both considered as a way of learning.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
354 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts