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In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight v.10

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight v. 10
Different countries have different regulations on when kids should start to go to schools. While some countries think that children need to undergo their formal learning starting at four years old, many believe it is better to wait until they are seven or eight years old. This essay will argue why seven or eight years old is an absolutely imperative standard for children to initiate their journeys on formal education. To begin with, there are some benefits of putting children to schools at the age of four. They will obviously be able to graduate earlier than those who attend kindergarten later. As a result, they can draw some money in advance. My friends who went to schools at four years old, for example, succeeded to generate their first income two years before those attended schools at five years old. The earlier they begin, the better their financial status will be. However, it is wise to start a formal education at the age of seven or eight instead. A lot of people believe that children who have started studying at the age of four tend to suffer from heavy depression. The evidence is shown by Harvard researchers who found that around 95% of those kids who committed suicide due to depression were forced to go to schools when they turned to four. Hence, attending formal institutions at the age of seven or eight is indeed an intelligent move. In conclusion, this essay argued that people who are against the idea of following the formal education path at the age of seven or eight have not considered the potential risk. In my opinion, it is entirely justified for kids to be seven or eight years old before they go to schools.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
countries have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regulations on when kids should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to undergo their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
learning starting at four years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe it is better to wait until they are seven or eight years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. This essay will argue why seven or eight years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
is an
absolutely
imperative standard for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to initiate their journeys on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
education.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of four. They will
obviously
be able to graduate earlier than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attend kindergarten later.
As a result
, they can draw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money in advance. My friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
at four years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
for example
, succeeded to generate their
first
income two years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
those attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
at five years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. The earlier they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the better their financial status will be.

However
, it is wise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
education at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven or eight
instead
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
studying at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of four tend to suffer from heavy depression. The evidence
is shown
by Harvard researchers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
found that around 95% of those kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
committed suicide due to depression
were forced
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
when they turned to four.
Hence
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
institutions at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven or eight is
indeed
an intelligent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.

In conclusion
, this essay argued that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
education path at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven or eight have not considered the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. In my opinion, it is
entirely
justified for kids to be seven or eight years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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