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Children find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention to their study in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem? v.2

Children find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention to their study in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem? v. 2
Students find it hard to focus on subjects in school. The primary reason is the old-fashioned way of teaching subjects which could make it boring and dull to concentrate. We can solve this by introducing the more practical approach of teaching that elevates students' interest in a subject. A myriad of schools is still following the outdated way of teaching where the focus is mainly on theory and facts which makes it monotonous. Such teaching techniques, emphasis on mugging up and thus, diminish students' interest and attention from the study in school. For instance, a study done by Cambridge University suggests that students perform poorly in the subjects where tutors put more emphasis on learning facts and mugging up. This indicates that the teaching process should be updated to help students concentrate better on subjects. Certainly, the problem of students paying less attention in class can be solved by introducing more practical based teaching where they are taught about the applications of the subjects and practicals are performed to teach concepts and fundamentals of the subject. This enhances the participation of students as well as help them in understanding the subject better. For example, a study done on school students after introducing a new teaching methodology, it has been found that 53% of students have improved their grades and 38% scored a distinction in their weakest subject. To conclude, students find it tough to pay attention to their class in school because of an outdated style of teaching, which makes learning uninteresting. Therefore, to resolve this problem, the most viable solution is to instigate a new teaching methodology that gives importance to practicals and student participation in learning.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The primary reason is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it boring and dull to concentrate. We can solve this by introducing the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
approach of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
that elevates
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; interest in a subject.

A myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is
still
following the outdated way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
where the focus is
mainly
on theory and facts which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it monotonous. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
techniques, emphasis on mugging up and
thus
, diminish
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; interest and attention from the study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For instance
, a study done by Cambridge University suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
perform
poorly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
where tutors put more emphasis on learning facts and mugging up. This indicates that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
process should
be updated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
concentrate better on subjects.

Certainly
, the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
paying less attention in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can
be solved
by introducing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
where they
are taught
about the applications of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and practicals
are performed
to teach concepts and fundamentals of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. This enhances the participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in understanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
better.
For example
, a study done on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after introducing a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
methodology, it has
been found
that 53% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their grades and 38% scored a distinction in their weakest subject.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find it tough to pay attention to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an outdated style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
learning uninteresting.
Therefore
, to resolve this problem, the most viable solution is to instigate a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
methodology that gives importance to practicals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
participation in learning.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Children find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention to their study in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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