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A few language are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or negative development? v.2

A few language are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2
It is true that a few languages are spoken by a majority of the Earth’s population whereas others are being left behind as the world becomes a homogenous, global society. In my opinion, there are both positive and negative effects. On the one hand, the decline in the use of a language could have a negative impact on the language-speaking communities. Firstly, language is of great cultural importance. As a language is dying out, so too does the community’s culture and heritage. Written documents such as stories or myths will not be understood by the future generations or even the elderly are dying without passing on knowledge to their posterity. This will lead to a permanent disconnection between the young generations with their ancestors, therefore, a lack of a sense of identity would be inevitable. On the other hand, the expansion of some languages could bring several benefits to individuals and the nation as a whole. Trading between countries will be immensely facilitated because communication has been improved. In terms of individuals, the dominance of some so-called international language could drive them to learn a different language apart from their mother tongue. This would greatly benefit them as a person since exposure to different languages and cultures will broaden their horizons and help them have a more objective outlook on the world. In conclusion, while it is worrying that many languages are on the brink of extinction, the increasing popularity of others could be beneficial for society and individuals.
It is true that a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are spoken
by a majority of the Earth’s population whereas others are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind as the world becomes a homogenous, global society. In my opinion, there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

On the one hand, the decline in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the language-speaking communities.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is of great cultural importance. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is dying out,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
too does the community’s culture and heritage. Written documents such as stories or myths will not
be understood
by the future generations or even the elderly are dying without passing on knowledge to their posterity. This will lead to a permanent disconnection between the young generations with their ancestors,
therefore
, a lack of a sense of identity would be inevitable.

On the other hand
, the expansion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
could bring several benefits to individuals and the nation as a whole. Trading between countries will be
immensely
facilitated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
communication has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. In terms of individuals, the dominance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
could drive them to learn a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
apart from their mother tongue. This would
greatly
benefit them as a person since exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and cultures will broaden their horizons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have a more objective outlook on the world.

In conclusion
, while it is worrying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are on the brink of extinction, the increasing popularity of others could be beneficial for society and individuals.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay A few language are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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