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Now a lot of people in college are doing academic study. We should encourage them to learn vocational skills( like plumber and electrician ). Do you agree or disagree. v.1

Now a lot of people in college are doing academic study. We should encourage them to learn vocational skills( like plumber and electrician ). v. 1
It is an undeniable fact that the technical skills are beneficial for the people. These days, educational institutions must provide practice skills to their students with their curriculum studies. However, I completely agree with the given statement and the reasons for it will be elaborated in the enlisted paragraphs. From my practical point of view, the first and foremost reason for this, is that people can solve the problem at time of emergency. In other words, if individuals have adequate information about vocational training they could immediately fix the problem, which can save their cost and resources. Besides this, masses do not have do depend on technician For instance, at the time of tap leakage a person can repairs it with ease, which could reduce their anxiety and worry about the problem. Secondly, people become self-reliant. This is because there are many situations in a life when individuals have to travel to other places for higher education or for job opportunities, so that time they do not have to depends on others. With the assist of practice skills a person can cook their food and wash their clothes easily, which is useful for their basic survival. Thus, in the urgency practical knowledge is useful, and it also curtails dependency on other people. Finally, vocational education creats outstanding curriculum vitae at the time of interview. To explain further, students who have extra knowledge about myriads skills another than education that helps them to get better job opportunities. The reason for this, companies require multi-tasking person in their place, who can solve the technical issues. According to the recent survey has been conducted by The Vocational Traning Center of Japan reveals that more than 63% of Japan's youths aquire compulsory have vocational education depicts impressive personality. Hence, technical skills help to crack interviews. In conclusion, it is truly said that the technical skills knowledge has paramount and it must be teach in teritary education. Nonetheless, I am in the favour of this policy, which help students for their sustainable development.
It is an undeniable fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are beneficial for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. These days, educational institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to their students with their curriculum studies.
However
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and the reasons for it will
be elaborated
in the enlisted paragraphs.

From my practical point of view, the
first
and foremost reason for this, is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can solve the problem at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of emergency. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if individuals have adequate information about vocational training they could immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the problem, which can save their cost and resources.
Besides
this, masses do not have
Use past participle here: "done".
do
depend on technician
For instance
, at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of tap leakage a person can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "repair"
repairs
it with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their anxiety and worry about the problem.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become self-reliant. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situations in a life when individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or for job opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "depend".
depends
on others. With the assist of practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
a person can cook their food and wash their clothes
easily
, which is useful for their basic survival.
Thus
, in the urgency practical knowledge is useful, and it
also
curtails dependency on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Finally
, vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake found.
creats
outstanding curriculum vitae at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of interview. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
further
, students who have extra knowledge about myriads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
another than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better job opportunities. The reason for this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
require multi-tasking person in their place, who can solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technical
issues. According to the recent survey has
been conducted
by The Vocational
Possible spelling mistake found.
Traning
Center of Japan reveals that more than 63% of Japan's youths
Possible spelling mistake found.
aquire
compulsory have vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
depicts impressive personality.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to crack interviews.

In conclusion
, it is
truly
said that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technical
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
knowledge has paramount and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using the past participle "taught"?
teach
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
teritary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Nonetheless, I am in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this policy, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students for their sustainable development.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Now a lot of people in college are doing academic study. We should encourage them to learn vocational skills( like plumber and electrician ). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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