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In some countries people are possible to have a wide variety of foods have been transported all over the world To what extent the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks v.2

In some countries people are possible to have a wide variety of foods have been transported all over the world 2
With the globalization, trading among different countries in the global develops significantly. Nowadays, it is easier for residents in one country to purchase commodities from other areas. This essay will discuss both pros and cons of this issue. To begin with, it is undeniable that there are a range of advantages of buying foods from all over the world. First and foremost, that there a wide diversity of foods from more countries is beneficial for consumers. In details, local inhabitants have countless opportunities to choose what they want to buy. Therefore, they can shop around and purchase the things they need at the cheapest price. In addition, this development has positive influences on both export and import countries. Regarding exporters, to produce a huge number of products, the demand of labours went up considerably. As a result, there will be more jobs and the rate of unemployment will reduce. In terms of importers, it will help these nations decline the pressure about producing foods within small farm area. On the other hand, importing foods from overseas can bring some adverse effects. Firstly, nourishment which is transported from aboard may be not fresh and unsafe. Due to the fact that it takes a long time to move commodities from foreign countries to inland, these foods can contain preservative which is harmful for people health. Moreover, that the quality of imported foods accelerate will threat the development of local commodities. For instance, the abundance of foods from overseas along with a suitable cost results in a remarkable decrease in consuming domestic products. This makes farmers face with more challenging circumstances. In conclusion, although there are some drawbacks of buying foods which shipped from other countries in the world, I strongly believe that the advantages of this development outstrip the disadvantages, especially in countries where the areas of agriculture land is narrowed.
With the globalization, trading among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the global develops
significantly
. Nowadays, it is easier for residents in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
commodities from other areas. This essay will discuss both pros and cons of this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable that there are a range of advantages of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from all over the world.
First
and foremost, that there a wide diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is beneficial for consumers. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, local inhabitants have countless opportunities to choose what they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Therefore
, they can shop around and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the things they need at the cheapest price.
In addition
, this development has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences on both export and import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Regarding exporters, to produce a huge number of products, the demand of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
went up
considerably
.
As a result
, there will be more jobs and the rate of unemployment will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
. In terms of importers, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these nations decline the pressure about producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
within
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
farm area.

On the other hand
, importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from overseas can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse effects.
Firstly
, nourishment which
is transported
from aboard may be not fresh and unsafe. Due to the fact that it takes a long time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
commodities from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to inland, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can contain preservative which is harmful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
health.
Moreover
, that the quality of imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
accelerate will threat the development of local commodities.
For instance
, the abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from overseas along with a suitable cost results in a remarkable decrease in consuming domestic products. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
farmers face with more challenging circumstances.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which shipped from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world, I
strongly
believe that the advantages of this development outstrip the disadvantages,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where the areas of agriculture land
is narrowed
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries people are possible to have a wide variety of foods have been transported all over the world 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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