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An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 2
Nowadays, a growing number of surgeons and teaching individuals, are migrating from under-developed to prosperous countries. This essay will discuss the negative effects of this situation, and also provide suggestions to reverse it. There are several ill-effects due to brain-drain in the home country. One of the main demerits associated with experts moving outside, is that there is lack of veterans in a particular field to train the next generations. For example, medical and student enthusiasts who want to learn from people who have expertise, are often left out with no choice but to learn from mediocre talents. Another disadvantage, is that the nation suffers from poor leadership. If talented people leave the region, then the remaining left mostly cannot drive the country towards a bright future. For instance, in several African countries still the problem of poverty and unemployment are very high, because the high achievers have already left the place and the nation suffers due to poor governance. Countries need to adopt certain effective strategies so as to not allow the professionals from exiting. One effective solution to this is raising the average salaries of certain professions in par with advanced countries. For instance, a study conducted by Harvard University revealed that 85 percent of the surgeons and academic instructors intended to stay in their home country, if they were provided the same salary as they would have been offered elsewhere. Another effective suggestion is to develop the infrastructure in schools and hospitals. For example, these workplaces need to be equipped with the latest gadgets and modern equipment for experts to work upon. To conclude, problems due to migration include a dearth of talents and poor guidance in the home country. Suggestions to reverse brain-drain include, higher wages and better infrastructure at the workplace.
Nowadays, a growing number of surgeons and teaching individuals, are migrating from under-developed to prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of this situation, and
also
provide suggestions to reverse it.

There are several ill-effects due to brain-drain in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. One of the main demerits associated with experts moving outside, is that there is lack of veterans in a particular field to train the
next
generations.
For example
, medical and student enthusiasts who want to learn from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have expertise, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out with no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to learn from mediocre talents. Another disadvantage, is that the nation suffers from poor leadership. If talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the region, then the remaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
mostly
cannot drive the country

towards a bright future.
For instance
, in several African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
still
the problem of poverty and unemployment are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the high achievers have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the place and the nation suffers due to poor governance.

Countries need to adopt certain effective strategies
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the professionals from exiting.

One effective solution to this is raising the average salaries of certain professions in par with advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, a study conducted by Harvard University revealed that 85 percent of the surgeons and academic instructors intended to stay in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, if they
were provided
the same salary as they would have
been offered
elsewhere. Another effective suggestion is to develop the infrastructure in schools and hospitals.
For example
, these workplaces need to
be equipped
with the latest gadgets and modern equipment for experts to work upon.

To conclude
, problems due to migration include a dearth of talents and poor guidance in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Suggestions to reverse brain-drain include, higher wages and better infrastructure at the workplace.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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