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In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? v.17

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? v. 17
In recent years, some countries in Europe, schools are conducting practical training classes alongside of academic education for improvement of students’ life in the future. However, some schools are still in the same method of providing more academic subjects. In this essay, we will look at the aspects with suitable example about the schools should teach both life level training and also school subjects. To begin with, technologies are quite changing from time-to-time. To cope with the things, children should be trained to get adapt the dynamic circumstances from their school level otherwise they will get struggle to face the challenges when they will become adults. For instance, in Italy, an engineering graduates are multiplied in number of times from years to years. All of them get a job is questionable. The reason that they are lack of accepting and fighting the challenging environment. Secondly, schools from some countries in Europe are still following the same traditional educational method to teach the children. For example, They are providing more of school subjects and overlook the practical level training. Consequently, if they want to learn any new skill set in their advanced schooling, they will get difficult to adopt it. Therefore, some countries in Europe like UK, analysed the current fact in their living environment, implement some more trainings like team co-ordination, group activities along with their school syllabus. For instance, a recent survey conducted by The Times in UK that the employment crisis rate is much less in the UK when compared the other countries in Europe. The fact is they will get practical trainings from their school level. To conclude, schools should be keen to adapt the technology update and living condition up-to-date, introduce as much possible in their school syllabus. Therefore, children will ready to tackle the challenging environment whey they faced.
In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Europe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are conducting practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
classes alongside of academic education for improvement of students’ life in the future.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
still
in the same method of providing more academic subjects. In this essay, we will look at the aspects with suitable example about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should teach both life level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, technologies are quite changing from time-to-time. To cope with the things, children should
be trained
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adapt the dynamic circumstances from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level
otherwise
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
struggle to face the challenges when they will become adults.
For instance
, in Italy, an engineering graduates
are multiplied
in number of times from years to years. All of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job is questionable. The reason that they are lack of accepting and fighting the challenging environment.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Europe are
still
following the same traditional educational method to teach the children.
For example
, They are providing more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects and overlook the practical level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
.
Consequently
, if they want to learn any new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set in their advanced schooling, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
difficult to adopt it.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Europe like UK,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
fact in their living environment, implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
like team co-ordination, group activities along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by The Times in UK that the employment crisis rate is much less in the UK when compared the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Europe. The fact is they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should be keen to adapt the technology update and living condition up-to-date, introduce as much possible in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus.
Therefore
, children will ready to tackle the challenging environment whey they faced.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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