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Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
In recents years there have been an heated debates on the prons and cons of using a car. Some claim that cars have been giving injuries to our health and the nature of the world while others including me have an opposition view. I will illustrate both perspectives in this essay On the one hand, there are a few drawbacks of using a car; first, having a car leads to the increasing of pollution and results in an detrimental effect to our health, overall the standards of living, the quality of life, for example in my country, people are suffering from asthma or lung cancer day by day, for despite about having access to any hospital and health information more than before, nevertheless the amount of those illnesses are rising more and more duo to the car emission, second cars make society more cozy and they go nearly everywhere by using car which people end up dealing with overweight or obesity due to the fact that people are gradually becoming more dependent on cars, last, the intensity of roads force governments to pour money into enhancing the infrastructure of the network of transport which is may be using for the era of education or health system, for instance in my country government have thrown a great deal of many into rubbish bin to get people vote by making roads, other realms were left naked. On the other hand, there are some overwhelming benefits in different ways, first; along with the invitation car that it has been providing with the freedom of movement and quicker way so you can go from destination to destination more comfortable and relax atmosphere compared to the others transport of vehicles, indeed destination and time are no longer bariers thanks to the cars, therefore you have a significant change to travel with your family anywhere you want second, it established many works opportunities to people to get jobs, given that, the nourishment workforce of car firms support nation economy consequently, people will receive its bloom as infrastructure in communities areas such as schools, hospitals so on, besides, car companies could hand over fund to the environmental facilities to find solutions to reduce the cars fumes or emissions To sum up, although there are a few drawbacks of using car, I believe those bearable damages are able to be wiped out in time by investing more money in the are of science, thus I point out that car’s pron carry more positive effect more than its negative one.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
recents
years there have been
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
heated
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "debate"?
debates
on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
prons
and cons of using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have been giving injuries to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and the nature of the world while others including me have an opposition view. I will illustrate both perspectives in this essay

On the one hand, there are a few drawbacks of using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
;
first
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
leads to the increasing of pollution and results in
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
detrimental effect to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
overall
the standards of living, the quality of life,
for example
in my country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from asthma or lung cancer day by day, for despite about having access to any hospital and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
information more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
nevertheless
the amount of those illnesses are rising more and more duo to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
emission, second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
society more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cozy and
they go
nearly
everywhere by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up dealing with overweight or obesity due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
gradually
becoming more dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, last, the intensity of roads force
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to pour money into enhancing the infrastructure of the network of transport which is may be using for the era of education or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system,
for instance
in my country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have thrown a great deal of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
into rubbish bin to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vote by making roads,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
realms were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
naked. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
overwhelming benefits in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways,
first
; along with the invitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
that it has been providing with the freedom of movement and quicker way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can go from destination to destination more comfortable and relax atmosphere compared to the others transport of vehicles,
indeed
destination and time are no longer
Possible spelling mistake found.
bariers
thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
therefore
you have a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to travel with your family anywhere you want second, it established
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
works opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that, the nourishment workforce of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
firms support nation economy
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will receive its bloom as infrastructure in communities areas such as schools, hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
could hand over fund to the environmental facilities to find solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
fumes or emissions To sum up, although there are a few drawbacks of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, I believe those bearable damages are able to
be wiped
out in time by investing more money in
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
of science,
thus
I point out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car’s
pron carry more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect more than its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
one.
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IELTS essay Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
421 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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