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In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? v.14

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? v. 14
One of the most conspicuous trends in European countries is that teenagers go to school to learn practical skills. On the other hand, others get theoretical knowledge at school. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend. This essay will explain what schools need to do to prepare children to get job in the current job market. Firstly, teenage is the foundation for any child to learn all the basic concepts and kids of this age group are less focused; however, children should focus on their studies and responsibility for teenagers is very slim. For instance, many researchers seemed that teenagers seriousness is very wage and one wrong step can lead to doom. Needless to say, high school students should focus on their studies and not to worry about seeking a job. Secondly, another pivotal aspect is that schools can develop curriculums that contains field trips with experts or internships to show how the work force works. Moreover, schools have experienced teachers and teachers upgrade their skills by interacting with market experts and their teaching methods help in securing good grades. For example, many schools are having a field trip in their curriculum to expose market trends to the students. Hence, schools and teachers can help build a teenager's career by personal interaction. In conclusion, to have a good foundation student should focus on their education and avoid worrying about job after graduation. Finally, the role of schools and teachers is too dire to ignore in moulding the school students.
One of the most conspicuous trends in European countries is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to learn practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
On the other hand
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
theoretical knowledge at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
need to do to prepare children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job market.

Firstly
, teenage is the foundation for any child to learn all the basic concepts and kids of this age group are less focused;
however
, children should focus on their studies and responsibility for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slim.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers seemed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
seriousness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
wage and one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
step can lead to doom. Needless to say, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should focus on their studies and not to worry about seeking a job.

Secondly
, another pivotal aspect is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can develop curriculums that contains field trips with experts or internships to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how the work force works.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
upgrade their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by interacting with market experts and their teaching methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in securing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are having a field trip in their curriculum to expose market trends to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
's career by personal interaction.

In conclusion
, to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
foundation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should focus on their education and avoid worrying about job after graduation.
Finally
, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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