Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? v.13

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? v. 13
Since the recession period, the unemployment ratio is significantly increasing year over year. Some schools in Europe understand the present-day situation and implementing practical training along with the school curriculum. However, some schools still following the same traditional method as teaching only the academic subjects. In my opinion, the school syllabus should contain the theoretical subjects with hands-on training programs. In this essay, we will look at the aspects of these with suitable examples. To begin with, middle school children are closely a teenager, so as we will push them into developing their skill set in real-time, they do not feel about boring of the subjects and will not deviate with other entertainment activities. Furthermore, they can develop their analytical skills, problem-solving when they involve practical training. For instance, a recent survey conducted by BBC that, 90% of young citizens have easily received employment as they started developing their skill sets in school. Secondly, Job security in today is not reliable. If we survive, we should experience what skill sets are required for a job. Moreover, today most companies are expecting the people that they will start work from their joining date itself. Therefore, Schools should keen on technology booming today, create an interest among the students through training programs so they will train themselves to develop their values and becoming an expert in their fields. For instance, Mr. Zahir Hussain, a tabla artist, gave an interview that he has become an expert on the instrument as his school created a curiosity and pushed him into training programs. Consequently, he started passionately on the instrument. To conclude, Schools should know the fact that academic subjects alone, students will not survive in this competitive world. Therefore, they will take care of the students and create a base path for them to be trained in becoming a specialist in their own skill sets.
Since the recession period, the unemployment ratio is
significantly
increasing year over year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in Europe understand the present-day situation and implementing practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
still
following the same traditional method as teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus should contain the theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
with hands-on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
programs. In this essay, we will look at the aspects of these with suitable examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children are
closely
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as we will push them into developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
set in real-time, they do not feel about boring of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and will not deviate with other entertainment activities.
Furthermore
, they can develop their analytical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, problem-solving when they involve practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by BBC that, 90% of young citizens have
easily
received employment as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
sets in school.

Secondly
, Job security in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is not reliable. If we survive, we should experience what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
sets
are required
for a job.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are expecting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
work from their joining date itself.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should keen on technology booming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, create an interest among the students through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will train themselves to develop their values and becoming an expert in their fields.
For instance
, Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zahir
Hussain, a tabla artist, gave an interview that he has become an expert on the instrument as his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
created a curiosity and pushed him into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
programs.
Consequently
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
passionately
on the instrument.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should know the fact that academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
alone, students will not survive in this competitive world.
Therefore
, they will take care of the students and create a base path for them to
be trained
in becoming a specialist in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
sets.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts