Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v.8

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8
It is true that industries and enterprises are being received encouragement from state governments to leave dowtown areas to regional zones. While drawbacks of this trend are evident, benefits towards companies themselves and community could overshadow these downsides. On the one hand, there are two main shortcomings with regard to the change of location of firms into non-residential areas. Firstly, this could extend commuter' s journey times. Since those workers mainly reside in city and town, it is so time-consuming that they have to take so long to get to their workplace. Besides, enterprises and factories are also at an disadvantage, seeing that their products are highly costly because of delivery fees to dowtown areas. As a result, they cannot maximise their profit and easily go bankrupt in the long run. To illustrate, the prices of pharmaceuticals and medicines would raise if those have to be delivered a long way with high fuel cost and customers would, therefore, are less accessible to these commodities, especially those with low income. On the other hand, I maintain that these unfavorable qualities could be downplayed by long-term advantages towards both enterprises and community as a whole. Moving into regional areas means that factories could be erected larger without concerns acout constricted space as a case in city. Production lines, thereafter, could be expanded and the resultant productivity improments are obvious in the long term. Moreover, environmental-harmful by-products and environmental problems in residential areas such as air, water, and soil pollution could be dwindled away thanks to those movements. Traffic congestion would aso no longer the case in megacity due to the fact that all workers ahve to commute to their workplace which are located futher afield. In conclusion, it seems to me that movement of industries and businesses to regional areas are far more benificial for both businesses themselves and community at large, although disadvantages are adverse to some extent.
It is true that industries and enterprises are
being received
encouragement from state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
Possible spelling mistake found.
dowtown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to regional zones. While drawbacks of this trend are evident, benefits towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
themselves and community could overshadow these downsides.

On the one hand, there are two main shortcomings with regard to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of location of firms into non-residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Firstly
, this could extend
Possible spelling mistake found.
commuter&
#039; s journey times. Since those workers
mainly
reside in city and town, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
time-consuming that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their workplace.
Besides
, enterprises and factories are
also
at
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
disadvantage, seeing that their products are
highly
costly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of delivery fees to
Possible spelling mistake found.
dowtown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
As a result
, they cannot
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
their profit and
easily
go bankrupt in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
run. To illustrate, the prices of pharmaceuticals and medicines would raise if those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be delivered
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
way with high fuel cost and customers would,
therefore
, are less accessible to these commodities,
especially
those with low income.

On the other hand
, I maintain that these unfavorable qualities could
be downplayed
by long-term advantages towards both enterprises and community as a whole. Moving into regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
means that factories could
be erected
larger without concerns
Possible spelling mistake found.
acout
constricted space as a case in city. Production lines, thereafter, could
be expanded
and the resultant productivity
Possible spelling mistake found.
improments
are obvious in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
term.
Moreover
, environmental-harmful by-products and environmental problems in residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as air, water, and soil pollution could
be dwindled
away thanks to those movements. Traffic congestion would
Possible spelling mistake found.
aso
no longer the case in
Possible spelling mistake found.
megacity
due to the fact that all workers
Possible spelling mistake found.
ahve
to commute to their workplace which
are located
Possible spelling mistake found.
futher
afield.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that movement of industries and businesses to regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are far more
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
for both businesses themselves and community at large, although disadvantages are adverse to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts