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In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
In this modern world, there are some governments are pursuing a policy of relocating industries and businesses from the urban areas in the regional areas. Although there are some drawbacks, I would argue that there are more benefits. On the one hand, it could reduce the migration. People from rural regions prefer to relocate in towns because of more job opportunities. This means that the unemployment rate is probably dropped and the local resident’s living standards is raised. Furthermore, pollution is the biggest concern in the cities these days and the smoke from the chimneys of manufacturing firms is one of the major reasons. For instance, a recent study by the World bank found that 40% of air pollution caused in India is because of factories. Another reason is that businesses will be able to save so much money. Especially land prices and staff salaries are cheaper and more available in regional areas which is beneficial to businesses. On the other hand, there are also some disadvantages of moving the industries and businesses towards the regional area because infrastructures and skilled workforce are mostly available in cities. Another drawback is adverse consequences for the local environment. The new companies may pollute the air with poisonous emissions and contaminate the water and the soil with solid and liquid waste. On balance the fact that relocating industries and businesses will help to decentralize and rural areas development clearly outweighs the lack of infrastructures and environmental pollution.
In this modern world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are pursuing a policy of relocating industries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
from the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in the regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, I would argue that there are more benefits.

On the one hand, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the migration.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from rural regions prefer to relocate in towns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of more job opportunities. This means that the unemployment rate is
probably
dropped and the local resident’s living standards
is raised
.
Furthermore
, pollution is the biggest concern in the cities these days and the smoke from the chimneys of manufacturing firms is one of the major reasons.
For instance
, a recent study by the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
World bank
found that 40% of air pollution caused in India is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of factories. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
will be able to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much money.
Especially
land prices and staff salaries are cheaper and more available in regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which is beneficial to businesses.

On the other hand
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of moving the industries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
towards the regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
infrastructures and skilled workforce are
mostly
available in cities. Another drawback is adverse consequences for the local environment. The new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may pollute the air with poisonous emissions and contaminate the water and the soil with solid and liquid waste.

On balance the fact that relocating industries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decentralize and rural
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "areas'" or "area's"?
areas
development
clearly
outweighs the lack of infrastructures and environmental pollution.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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