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In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5
In this modern world, it is argued by some politicians and authorities that the art classes are crucial for students while others believe that those courses are loss of time. I believe that art classes have significant importance in many ways, such as expanding imagination or being handled multi-tasking works, and this essay will examine both arguments. First of all, in many developed countries, the art classes are a big part of the curriculum of the preliminary and high schools. Moreover, as per an academic article published by the EU says that It has been proven that each art, but most importantly painting, helps children to enlarge their imagination which allows them to create innovative products or structures in future. For instance, if a student’s imagination skill has been increased up to 14 years old, he would be able to draw the futuristic buildings and might become one of the most popular architects. Furthermore, multi-tasking skill has been mentioned in almost every job applications’ requirements. People could not have this skill after the 20s, instead, this skill should be imposed on a person in her childhood times. In fact, in the same article which aforementioned above states that there is a solid relation between multi-handling and playing the piano. Whereas a child learns how to play the piano, he also could gain a concrete skill to manage his brain in a different way, which allows him to do multiple tasks at the same time in their professional life. On the other hand, students are entitled to join admission test in the last year of preliminary school and high school to enrol the high school and university respectively. In fact, those admission tests only cover math and literature questions, and due to that reason, most of the parents direct their children to study math instead of art courses. Although some of the students are willing to be an artist, the education system does not allow them to realize their dream come true. Furthermore, some of the famous directors have not been studied in art schools, instead, they have studied engineering or medicine. For instance, Nuri Bilge Ceylan, the best director in Turkey, studied electronic engineering, started the movie as a hobby and he recorded his first film when he was at 32 years old. In conclusion, in light of the information given above, although there are so rare examples to prove that spending time on art is a loss of time, I am strongly convinced that art classes are crucial and has great importance for children's educational and professional lives. It should not be forgotten that a life without art is like a tree without roots.
In this modern world, it
is argued
by
some
politicians and authorities that the
art
classes
are crucial for
students
while others believe that those courses are loss of
time
. I believe that
art
classes
have significant importance in
many
ways, such as expanding imagination or
being handled
multi-tasking works, and this essay will examine both arguments.

First of all
, in
many
developed countries
, the
art
classes
are a
big
part of the curriculum of the preliminary and high
schools
.
Moreover
, as per an academic article published by the EU says that It has
been proven
that each
art
,
but
most
importantly
painting,
helps
children to enlarge their imagination which
allows
them to create innovative products or structures
in future
.
For instance
, if a
student’s
imagination
skill
has
been increased
up to 14 years
old
, he would be able to draw the futuristic buildings and might become one of the most popular architects.
Furthermore
, multi-tasking
skill
has
been mentioned
in almost every job applications’ requirements.
People
could not have this
skill
after the 20s,
instead
, this
skill
should
be imposed
on a person in her childhood
times
. In fact, in the same article which aforementioned above states that there is a solid relation between multi-handling and playing the piano. Whereas a child learns how to play the piano, he
also
could gain a concrete
skill
to manage his brain in a
different
way, which
allows
him to do multiple tasks at the same
time
in their professional life.

On the other hand
,
students
are entitled
to
join
admission
test
in the last year of preliminary
school
and high
school
to enrol the high
school
and university
respectively
. In fact, those admission
tests
only
cover math and literature questions, and due to that reason, most of the parents direct their children to study math
instead
of
art
courses. Although
some of the
students
are willing to be an artist, the education system does not
allow
them to realize their dream
come
true.
Furthermore
,
some of the
famous
directors have not
been studied
in
art
schools
,
instead
, they have studied engineering or medicine.
For instance
,
Nuri
Bilge
Ceylan
, the best director in Turkey, studied electronic engineering,
started
the movie as a
hobby and
he recorded his
first
film when he was at 32 years
old
.

In conclusion
, in light of the information
given
above, although there are
so
rare examples to prove that spending
time
on
art
is a loss of
time
, I am
strongly
convinced that
art
classes
are crucial and has great importance for children's educational and professional
lives
. It should not
be forgotten
that a life without
art
is like a tree without roots.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
445 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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