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In many parts of the world children and teenagers are committing more crimes Why is this happening How should they by punished v.1

In many parts of the world children and teenagers are committing more crimes Why is this happening How should they by punished v. 1
Economy is one of the important factors for every country Which has directly related to the lives of the people of the nation; Whatever, A country has a stronger economy, People of there have Better and happier lives. Otherwise, If a country has an economic problem, In addition to endangering Position of the nation Against other countries in the world, That state must devote a lot of time and energy to preventing poverty in its society. Therefore, each nation should be concerned about focusing on overcoming its problems, and then on thinking about helping other countries, although with the return of future cash flow benefits. To raise their economic growth, some of the countries at lease concern about three strategies to become developed countries. The first strategy is a way to control the supply and demand of money, For example, offering gold coins and raising and lowering bank profits because the money supply has become high levels of impact will push such as Central Bank Of Iran, to find and solve problems until they will become systematic issue effects. Controlling stability of currency is the second strategy, as we know most countries in the world have different currency that dollar of America becomes standardization to them. And in the last strategy is kind of methods to reduce inflation, it will be a serious problem if they do not focus on solving that problem. Sometimes other countries support the poor to get out of the global crisis, but they will never forget the economic benefits in the future. For example, in the last 40 years, Venezuela has experienced serious global crises, and then some countries, such as Iran, have helped boost their economies by increasing their debt, such as repairing and renovating oil refineries there, so the effect of selling interest on debt It always depends. Finally, every government first should care about its economy so that whole world respects and attention about them. Everyone reading this essay will understand whom countries become poor anyone, on the contrary, the developed countries always become healthy and well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economy
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors for every country

Which has
directly
related to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the nation; Whatever, A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
of there have Better and happier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Otherwise
, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has an economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
In addition
to endangering Position of the nation

Against other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world, That state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
devote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and energy to preventing poverty in its society.
Therefore
, each nation should
be concerned
about focusing on overcoming its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and then on thinking about helping other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, although with the return of future cash flow benefits.

To raise their economic growth,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
at lease concern about three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
is a way to control the supply and demand of money,
For example
, offering gold coins and raising and lowering bank profits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the money supply has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
high levels of impact will push such as Central Bank Of Iran, to find and solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
until they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
systematic issue effects. Controlling stability of currency is the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
, as we know most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
currency that dollar of America
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
standardization to them. And in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
is kind of methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
inflation, it will be a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
if they do not focus on solving that problem.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
support the poor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of the global crisis,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will never forget the economic benefits in the future.
For example
, in the last 40 years, Venezuela has experienced serious global crises, and then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as Iran, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
boost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
by increasing their debt, such as repairing and renovating oil refineries there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the effect of selling interest on debt It always depends.

Finally
, every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
first
should care about its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that whole world respects and attention about them. Everyone reading this essay will understand whom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
poor anyone,
on the contrary
, the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
healthy and well.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay In many parts of the world children and teenagers are committing more crimes Why is this happening How should they by punished v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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