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Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job. v. 2
One of the highly contentious issues today relates to whether a job can be secured by obtaining a degree from university or is it the work experience that one should prefer to gain. In this essay, I strongly accord to the view that unless a degree is awarded by university, a job is not guaranteed. Besides, both opinions will be expatiated upon in greater detail and a reasoned conclusion will be reached. On one side of the argument, people argue that the merits of having a degree from university outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for this is because careers such as: medicine, nursing and dentistry etc. , can only be taught in university. Furthermore, it is also possible to say that a degree from university is important as it is a prerequisite to getting a lucrative job. For instance, big companies like A. G Leventis and Nestle only accept applicants who have a university degree. On the other hand, while this side of the debate has some valid viewpoints, the opposing case can also be made. People also argue that not all kinds of jobs require a university degree; they believe jobs that deal with machines are hardly taught in detail, in the university. A good illustration of this is a study carried out by a professor at Harvard University. His findings revealed that 40% of engineering graduates lack the practical skills required for doing their jobs. In addition to this, it is not uncommon for us to find people holding a university degree but being without a job. In fact, a recent survey in Australia found that over 50% of unemployed youth have a university degree. After having discussed the pertinent points of this issue, I am inclined to the opinion that a degree from university is a necessity to procuring a profitable job.
One of the
highly
contentious issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can
be secured
by obtaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or is it the work experience that one should prefer to gain. In this essay, I
strongly
accord to the view that unless a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is awarded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not guaranteed.
Besides
, both opinions will
be expatiated
upon in greater detail and a reasoned conclusion will
be reached
.

On one side of the argument,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the merits of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
careers such as: medicine, nursing and dentistry etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Furthermore
, it is
also
possible to say that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it is a prerequisite to getting a lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like A. G
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leventis
and Nestle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accept applicants who have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree.

On the other hand
, while this side of the debate has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid viewpoints, the opposing case can
also
be made
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
also
argue that not all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
; they believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that deal with machines are hardly taught in detail, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is a study carried out by a professor at Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. His findings revealed that 40% of engineering graduates lack the practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required for doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
In addition
to this, it is not uncommon for us to find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
holding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
being without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In fact, a recent survey in Australia found that over 50% of unemployed youth have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree.

After having discussed the pertinent points of this issue, I
am inclined
to the opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a necessity to procuring a profitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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