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In some countries education is free to university level, should government of your country use the money it utilizes from taxes to fully funded education. v.1

In some countries education is free to university level, should government of your country use the money it utilizes from taxes to fully funded education. v. 1
People often wrangle over the optimal age of a child to start formal education. While some are in favour of sending children to school as soon as possible, I contend that children’s readiness for schooling is not until their seventh birthday. Admittedly, there are good reasons to send children to school before 7. If a child is able to perform simple tasks without assistance and carry out instructions without the need to repeat, then school attendance can be considered. The younger they are when they go to school, the more confident they learn to become by making friends with peers and having conversations with teachers. There would be no assistance from parents in class, and they learn to stand on their own feet by putting on a coat, going to the rest room or having meals. Looking at the argument in this light, it is felt that children might be more independent if they are sent to school early. Despite the argument mentioned above, I have every reason to believe that the best age for a child to start formal education is 7. Children in essence would learn best from a play-based program during their formative years, so forcing them to sit and learn before 7 is wrong in the main. At age 7, children have the cognitive ability to learn numeracy and literacy, and are curious about the lessons being taught. Sending them to school early, parents may ruin their curiosity as well as put unnecessary pressure on their offspring when they start learning. Added to this, children may also feel emotionally disconnected as soon as they step out of the comfort zone created by parents. In conclusion, I profoundly believe that children should not be sent to school before 7 even if they are able to perform simple tasks.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
wrangle over the optimal age of a child to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
formal education. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, I contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
readiness for schooling is not until their seventh birthday.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
7. If a child is able to perform simple tasks without assistance and carry out instructions without the need to repeat, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
attendance can
be considered
. The younger they are when they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the more confident they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to become by making friends with peers and having conversations with teachers. There would be no assistance from parents in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to stand on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
feet by putting on a coat, going to the rest room or having meals. Looking at the argument in this light, it
is felt
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be more independent if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
early.

Despite the argument mentioned above, I have every reason to believe that the best age for a child to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
formal education is 7.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
in essence would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
best from a play-based program during their formative years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forcing them to sit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
7 is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in the main. At age 7,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the cognitive ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
numeracy and literacy, and are curious about the lessons
being taught
. Sending them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
early, parents may ruin their curiosity
as well
as put unnecessary pressure on their offspring when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
also
feel
emotionally
disconnected as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they step out of the comfort zone created by parents.

In conclusion
, I
profoundly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
7
Possible agreement error. The noun 'even' seems to be countable, so consider using: "evens".
even
if they are able to perform simple tasks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries education is free to university level, should government of your country use the money it utilizes from taxes to fully funded education. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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