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In some countries education is free to university level, should government of your country use the money it utilizes from taxes to fully funded education. v.2

In some countries education is free to university level, should government of your country use the money it utilizes from taxes to fully funded education. v. 2
Higher education is very important in order to get skills and expertise. But I don’t agree with free university education because people will rather misuse it. It is better to that students use their own funds In order to get university education. However, some of the countries such as Germany and Finland have free university educations and higher taxes. I would like to support my statement with followings reasons. Firstly, it is human’s behavior to get extra benefits of things which are free of cost. As for example, people would like to fill their plates full whenever there is a free meal. The same happens when it comes to education. If the university education will be free people would start overuse the resources. As a result, it will create the imbalance in the education system. The government compensate their losses by rising the taxes on common public of the nation. Secondly, with free university education numbers of graduates per year will increased. This will more likely to increase unemployment rate. While some of the graduates will end up in jobs with less requirement. Which will also increase unemployment in the vocations such as technicians, plumber and cleaner. On the other hand, with free university education students may take education lightly and spend their time in relaxation rather than studying. However, employer will give getting high paying jobs once a student gets the degree from the university with high tuition fees, because of more financial gain from their degree it is better for a student to pay a part of it during the education. Therefore, students needs to understand that there is an increase earning potentials once getting done with university education. They can repay their education loan once started earning. Additionally, they can work part-time during their higher education in order to continue their source of income. In conclusion, free university education can reduce employment and opportunity because of scarcity of resource in long-term. Additionally, young generation will never understand the meaning of hard-work and expertise in their career if they get education for free.
Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and expertise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
rather
misuse it. It is better to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
funds In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
countries such as Germany and Finland have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
and higher taxes. I would like to support my statement with followings reasons.

Firstly
, it is human’s behavior to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extra benefits of things which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of cost. As
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like to fill their plates full whenever there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
meal. The same happens when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
overuse the resources.
As a result
, it will create the imbalance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
compensate their losses by rising the taxes on common public of the nation.

Secondly
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
numbers of graduates per year will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "increase"
increased
. This will more likely to increase unemployment rate. While
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
graduates will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in jobs with less requirement. Which will
also
increase unemployment in the vocations such as technicians, plumber and cleaner.
On the other hand
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
lightly
and spend their time in relaxation
rather
than studying.

However
, employer will give getting high paying jobs once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the degree from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
with high tuition fees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of more financial gain from their degree it is better for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to pay a part of it during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
needs to understand that there is an increase earning potentials once getting done with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They can repay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
loan once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
earning.
Additionally
, they can work part-time during their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to continue their source of income.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
employment and opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of scarcity of resource in long-term.
Additionally
, young generation will never understand the meaning of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work and expertise in their career if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries education is free to university level, should government of your country use the money it utilizes from taxes to fully funded education. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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