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The charts below show the main methods of transportation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009. v.1

The charts below show the main methods of transportation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009. v. 1
In the olden days, many people stitch their outfits and repair things at home by themselves. Presently, this trend is declining because of the excessive provision of a commercial tailor, carpenters, and other skilled workers. Moreover, people become busier, and they do not have enough time to spend on it. Similarly, this trend is reducing in my country also. In the present day, people do not have enough time and skills to stitch their cloth and doing menial work at their homes. That's because people are spending plenty of time to enhance their professional careers and after work do not feel to have enough energy for the repairs and stitching. The provision of many paid professionals who stitch the cloth with utmost perfection, new style, and in a short span of time comes on-board. Also, people can buy ready-made outfits from fabric shops. Similarly, with small repairs at home like drilling, changing electric switches, to assemble faucets, these days, people hire professionals to perform such works. In my country, Pakistan, a similar trend prevailing day by day. I remember, In my home, my mother and grandmother used to stitch their clothes and curtains for windows and balcony. Similarly, My father used to repair iron, cassette players, drilling on walls, and changing switched every time as needed. Nowadays the young generation is flamboyant, and does not want to waste their time in such things because they easily purchase their clothes from shops and discard any home item if it needs repair and buy a new one. To summarize, I agree, the olden trends are speedily declining around the world along with my country.
In the olden days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stitch
their outfits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repair
things at home by themselves.
Presently
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is declining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the excessive provision of a commercial tailor, carpenters, and other skilled workers.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become busier, and they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend on it.
Similarly
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is reducing in my country
also
.

In the present day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stitch
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
and doing menial work at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. That's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enhance their professional careers and after work do not feel to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
energy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairs
and stitching. The provision of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
paid professionals who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stitch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
with utmost perfection, new style, and in a short span of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
on-board.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
ready-made outfits from fabric shops.
Similarly
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairs
at home like drilling, changing electric switches, to assemble faucets, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hire professionals to perform such works.

In my country, Pakistan, a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
prevailing day by day.

I remember, In my home, my mother and grandmother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stitch
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and curtains for windows and balcony.
Similarly
, My father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repair
iron, cassette players, drilling on walls, and changing switched every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as needed. Nowadays the young generation is flamboyant, and does not want to waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in such things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
from shops and discard any home item if it needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repair
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new one.

To summarize
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, the olden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
are
speedily
declining around the world along with my country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below show the main methods of transportation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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