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In some countries, citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their home. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

In some countries, citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their home. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
In many countries, it is allowed for people to keep guns in order to protect their houses from criminals. Some people believe that it has a huge gain for the owners than its drawback. On the other hand, some folks believe that it is inappropriate if every house owner has guns on their desk as it would increase the death rate from gunfire. It is not an easy topic to talk about, but this essay will discuss it. At first, a number of realms have certain regulation about firearm allowance for the public is caused by security point of view. They claimed that every person has their own right and duty to protect their own belongings, and any trespasser considered as a criminal. Such situations are commonly found in liberalism country, where privacy is the highest priority. What they believe are gradual with their ideology, and law about pistol possession cannot be helped. However, some thought grew in society. Believe that firearm owning are wrong, because it may harm other people. It is misused by their owner, instead to protect them. Gun sometimes used to hurt or even kill other people. From this, tonnes of people start to argue if it worth enough to let civilian to have their own gun for protection? The gunshot wounds and death rate from the gunshots is significantly higher in those countries where citizens are allowed to keep guns freely. The possessions of guns often drive people to commit crimes that were otherwise impossible. These events clearly state that there are other better ways of ensuring citizens’ safety rather than allowing having guns and shooting any trespasser. At last, we could see that firearm allowance is a total doom. At first, it is for protection, but it has become a threat to our society instead of becoming an assured security. I personally believe that people could protect their own lives and houses without guns, and police are more than enough to handle some big crimes that require guns to handle.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
from criminals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it has a huge gain for the owners than its drawback. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is inappropriate if every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
owner has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
on their desk as it would increase the death rate from gunfire. It is not an easy topic to talk about,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this essay will discuss it.

At
first
, a number of realms have certain regulation about firearm allowance for the public
is caused
by security point of view. They claimed that every person has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
right and duty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
belongings, and any trespasser considered as a criminal. Such situations are
commonly
found in liberalism country, where privacy is the highest priority. What they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
are gradual with their ideology, and law about pistol possession cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
grew in society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Believe
that firearm owning are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
is misused
by their owner,
instead
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gun
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to hurt or even kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From this, tonnes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to argue if
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
worth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
civilian to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
for protection?

The gunshot wounds and death rate from the gunshots is
significantly
higher in those countries where citizens are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
freely
. The possessions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commit crimes that were
otherwise
impossible. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
clearly
state that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
better ways of ensuring citizens’ safety
rather
than allowing having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
and shooting any trespasser.

At last, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that firearm allowance is a total doom. At
first
, it is for protection,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has become a threat to our society
instead
of becoming an assured security. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
, and police are more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
crimes that require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
to handle.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their home. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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