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Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. v.2

Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. v. 2
Economic development is one of the factors that affects the success of a nation. However, there are other factors that can determine whether or not a country is successful. Personally, I agree that economic progress is one factor in measuring accomplishment of a country and health and education degrees are true as other cause of national achievement. To begin with, Human Development Index (HDI), which is used widely to measure the success of a country, points than economic progress through national income index is utilised to assess how wealth a nation is. This index indicates how many citizens are living under standardised income level and the vice versa. The richer the people, the more successful the country. In it not uncommon that when a country progresses economically other important aspects, such as healthcare, education, international trade, social security and life-standard of citizens also progress. Despite economic value, health status also contributes measurement to decide the achievement of a country. The healthier the citizens, the more productive they are in doing their activities. As a result, they can fulfil their rudimentary needs well since they have the fitness to work and earn money. This condition also enables a country to spend less money in eradicating outbreak or epidemic and contribute more money to the social development, for instances, establishing more public infrastructures and developing entrepreneurship to help to cope with unemployed. Education is also considered as other measurements for national prosperity. In many developed countries, people who attain and can secure better job are those who have a higher level of education. Education can affect people’s ability to compete and maintain their job and wages. If individuals can secure their job, they will not be worry of being unemployment. From my point of view, none of these three factors, either education, economic or health, outweighs one another. They are equivalent in determining the prosperity of a nation and can affect the functions of each capacity. All in all, economic, education, and health status are important to create a successful country and these elements have balanced roles for pointing welfare to a nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
development is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that affects the success of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
However
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can determine
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is successful.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress is one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in measuring accomplishment of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
degrees are true as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cause of national achievement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Human Development Index (HDI), which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
widely
to measure the success of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, points than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress through national income index is
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to assess how wealth a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is. This index indicates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens are living under
Possible spelling mistake. 'standardised' is British English.
standardised
income level and the vice versa. The richer the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the more successful the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In it not uncommon that when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
progresses
economically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects, such as healthcare,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, international trade, social security and life-standard of citizens
also
progress.

Despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
value,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status
also
contributes measurement to decide the achievement of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The healthier the citizens, the more productive they are in doing their activities.
As a result
, they can fulfil their rudimentary needs well since they have the fitness to work and earn money. This condition
also
enables a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to spend less money in eradicating outbreak or epidemic and contribute more money to the social development, for instances, establishing more public infrastructures and developing entrepreneurship to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to cope with unemployed.

Education is
also
considered as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measurements for national prosperity. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who attain and can secure better job are those who have a higher level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
can affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s ability to compete and maintain their job and wages. If individuals can secure their job, they will not be worry of being unemployment.

From my point of view, none of these three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
, either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, outweighs one another. They are equivalent in determining the prosperity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and can affect the functions of each capacity.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to create a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and these elements have balanced roles for pointing welfare to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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