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It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate them in prison so that they can find a job after they leave prison. To what extent do you agree? v.2

It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate them in prison so that they can find a job after they leave prison. v. 2
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about how ex-prisoner able to reintegrate back into society and becoming productive members of the community. I agree with the view that educating prisoners to help them more straightforward to find a job after leaving prison is an eminent method to reduce crimes. First, it is obvious that low literacy which leads to the lack of employment opportunities, is the main reason of, crime. Indeed, an enormous number of people commit crime because of poverty and the needs of providing families in the unemployment context due to the fact less educated persons hardly find a job and earn money legally. That might be the reason to commit a crime in the first place and manifest engender repeat crimes after serving prison sentence if ex-prisoner could not find a job to provide basic needs of living. This is a crucial action to teach offenders technical and practical skills to help them find a job later and prevent them to turn to crime again. Second, not only does educate prisoners to provide reformed prisoners a superior way to live, but society also reaps huge fruits from ex-prisoners who becoming an effective workforce. In fact, many employers have sophisticated hands-on skills and greatly contribute to social benefits such as construction workers, handmade producers, electrical workers and so on. In results, ex-criminals who have a chance to make profits and provide financial needs by themselves no longer were forced to violate laws for money, thus diminishing crime significantly. In conclusion, reducing crime by imparting knowledge to prisoners makes tremendous advantages for both prisoners and society by eliminating the deep cause of criminal manners and prevent them from happening again in the future.
Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
are concerned
about how ex-prisoner able to reintegrate back into society and becoming productive members of the community. I
agree
with the view that educating
prisoners
to
help
them more straightforward to
find
a
job
after leaving prison is an eminent method to
reduce
crimes.

First
, it is obvious that low literacy which leads to the lack of employment opportunities, is the main reason of,
crime
.
Indeed
, an enormous number of
people
commit
crime
because
of poverty and the needs of providing families in the unemployment context due to the fact less educated persons hardly
find
a
job
and earn money
legally
. That might be the reason to commit a
crime
in the
first
place and manifest engender repeat
crimes
after serving prison sentence if ex-prisoner could not
find
a
job
to provide basic needs of living. This is a crucial action to teach offenders technical and practical
skills
to
help
them
find
a
job
later and
prevent
them to turn to
crime
again.

Second, not
only
does educate
prisoners
to provide reformed
prisoners
a superior way to
live
,
but
society
also
reaps huge fruits from ex-prisoners who becoming an effective workforce. In fact,
many
employers have sophisticated hands-on
skills
and
greatly
contribute to social benefits such as construction workers, handmade producers, electrical workers and
so
on. In results, ex-criminals who have a chance to
make
profits and provide financial needs by themselves no longer
were forced
to violate laws for money,
thus
diminishing
crime
significantly
.

In
conclusion, reducing
crime
by imparting knowledge to
prisoners
makes
tremendous advantages for both
prisoners
and society by eliminating the deep cause of criminal manners and
prevent
them from happening again in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate them in prison so that they can find a job after they leave prison. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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